Here it is CLEANFEST’02, and I am in my home office hiding while Mark is vacuuming. Shhhh. Don’t tell. He actually just finished an important part of CLEANFEST’02, of course, giving Benoit a mowhawk, well a fauxhawk really. I didn’t get any photos of Mark licking it lovingly into place. I think the impending inlaw visit has caused us to lose our minds. But doesn’t Benoit look menacing now?

Some wedding fun, just to prove that even though it is a gloomy day, I can fake happy just as good as the next guy.
Who else could get away with a light sabre procession if not an owner of a game company?

There were little individual cakes on each table, that were beauteous.

There was a young lady in a fabulous, but someone inappropriate black hat. Apologies for the photo, I was trying to be discreet.

Even though I am phenomenally insecure about my physical appearance, as you may know from my about page, I couldn’t let the only picture of me on my website be the Halloween pirate pic. So, here are Mark and I in our dressed-up glory.

I was very angsty on Saturday at the wedding, re: my appearance, but today, I am almost through the 5 stages of grief, today being “depression”. I think a lot of women obsess about such things, but I suspect I do more than most. I sit at the ceremony thinking “she is thinner than I am, she is prettier, that is a better dress, those are great shoes, I should have spent more time on my hair, I wish I wasn’t so tall, man my head is huge, I really have big man-hands, my feet are also too big, I should grow my hair longer, maybe I should have worn it straight, I wonder how many people here are thinner than I am. . .”, etc etc. Aren’t I a barrel of laughs? Am I vain or insecure or both? I know I shouldn’t be so concerned about such aesthetic things. As a feminist, I offend myself at these shallow observations, but it is like I can’t stop them. My palms sweat, my heart races and I wish I was at home in my pajamas watching Trading Spaces. Shouldn’t I be over all this by now? Sometimes I think I am. We had a work function on Friday and I felt ok. Then Saturday’s wedding brought out the junior high in me. Even writing about it makes me feel exposed, but somehow a bit better. Ok, blog world. Here I am, insecure, shallow, vain. Can you really be vain if you think you look icky a lot of the time? It isn’t like I don’t worry or obsess about other things, don’t worry. We can discuss those later if you like.

Maybe it is the weather, but I just want to crawl into bed and not come out for a week. Being an adult sucks sometimes.

Here we are, Sunday night and I still have a millions things to do. My in-laws will be in town for three weeks starting this thursday. It is all my dad’s fault, he thought a house swap would be so nice. My parents could go stay at Mark’s parent’s place on the other side of the country and the in-laws would stay here at my parent’s place. What an excellent idea eh? At least I don’t have house guests for three weeks. They will be travelling around while here as well, so it isn’t three solid weeks of guests. But, I have to clean the house. Not clean really, but something more akin to autoclaving the whole place. The plan was to get started this weekend. But friday night is not a night for such things. So we watched tv, ate dinner, spend some time alone, you know, sort of a date night. Saturday we had a wedding, which started with a haircut in the morning, then the ceremony and reception. It was Mark’s boss’s wedding. A huge affair, with 350 people. We had a pretty good time. Mark works with some great geeks who have some equally great partners. Not that this will be a surprise, but mostly Mark works with guys. I am sure this is not an anomaly being that he works at a computer game company and all. Some of the other wives/girl friends and I call each other computer game widows. They can work some really grueling hours. It was a big wedding, and it made me wish I was still drinking so I could use a few drinks as a social lubricant. But I digress. So saturday was a bust and today was going to be work work work day. We could at least start clearing the debris to impress the in-laws, or rather, my mother in law. But I awoke this morning at 6:30 am with a migraine. So lovely. I was in bed with ice packs and total darkness until 4 and then moved downstairs to the tv room when it eased up enough to listen to Star Trek at low volume. My head finally felt better at about 10 pm. Not much time for cleanin’. I also wanted to tidy up the garden, get rid of some of the dead things that last week’s frost killed. Now I have tomorrow night and Tuesday night. Ok, WE have two nights to clean. Mark helps, but I care more. I just feel a little flustered. Such is my way.

I have added some links to the blogs I read regularly. They are all fabulous. Read them!

I added an “about” page. Maybe I will seem more interesting. I was inspired by a fabulous ‘100 things’ list on Miss Elle, as found on one of my favourite blogs Escribitonist. Mad props to Jane for being so damned cool. *wink wink*
Leave me some comments. Please feed the blogger.

I knew I would get some interesting hits from people looking for “juggys” based on my September 14th post about the man show. So, those of you looking for juggys – you found them. Sort of. Other entertaining search requests recently:
bush fool me again, gwyneth paltrow macrobiotic pale, mypicturesanorex, and of course “juggys”.

Who remembers that 80’s movie with Aidan Quinn as a gay man who I think dies in the end of AIDS? It was a good movie. I remember crying at the end. (aside: why why why must the cat sit between me and the keyboard? he could be sleeping with Husband)
How was that for a segue into talking about the frost in my garden. We got frost on Sunday night. I awoke Monday morning to a sad sight. My zinnias, impatiens, nasturtiums, and a few other flower creatures were black or brown from being ravaged by freezing temperatures. This is my third gardening year in our house. I live in Canada, cold is a way of life here, but I was struck my sadness by my wilting garden. It just didn’t seem right. Everything looked so good on Sunday. There were still more dahlias to bloom, more morning glories, more buds on the roses. Mean old frost. The winter here can be oppressive. It isn’t bitterly cold and snowy like some imagine. It is dry, cool (sometimes really cold), but mostly, it is long. Long long long. No one plants a garden here until the Victoria Day long weekend in May. I still have my spring bulbs to put in before the snow comes, but the glorious blooms and green life in my yard will shortly be completely gone. Seasons change, it happens every year. This year is seems to hurt more. Perhaps I have developed an attachment disorder…. to my garden.
For the hipster-coolie young set, I swear when I was in my earlier twenties I had tales of more than just zinnias and roses. Ahhh… if I was blogging while I was in University I could have regaled you all with yarns of drinking all night and sitting on the edge of the bathtub hungover all day. Perhaps I will toss in a story or two of debauchery when I am not revelling in the adult world of gardens and loss.
I am off to join Husband in bed now….
Before evil Jack Frost bitch slapped the yard, I took some lovely pics earlier in the week. Click on the thumbnails for the larger versions.

http://homepage2.nifty.com/4986-MPH/nameneko.html
Funny, very funny. Thanks to the Husband for the link.
I feel sorry for the cats though. Poor kitties.

I was in bed. I felt alll sleeeepy at 10:30 and came upstairs to make preparations for bedtime (after watching celebrity Fear Factor, I am so lame). Checked my email, washed my face, gave the kitties some treats, the usual. Mark and I chat in bed for a little while, I read BUST, he reads some book, and then *boom* he’s asleep before midnight and I feel like I could run a marathon. Well, I at least feel like going downstairs to the kitchen and having a cookie. Wide awake. I get this sensation sometimes when I can’t sleep that everything is really loud. Like, getting out of bed could wake the neighbourhood, my typing is like little hammers, the fan on the computer is booming. Its weird. And of course I will be really tired tomorrow. hmpf.
Pre-sleep chatter with Mark
Mark: you should put some of the things we say everyday in your blog, like “super-mega gay” or “super-fucking-mega gay”
Jen: like a glossary of terms?
Mark: sure
Jen: some things are hard to explain. . . have you read my blog lately?
Mark: No. . .
Jen: You don’t love me