from the globe and mail

Do you ever feel like your tongue is too big for your mouth and your teeth are too sharp?
Perhaps I shouldn’t post such things or some burly guys in a white van will come and take me away….

More singing cat goodness from rathergood.com, as well as some other singing funnies. Joel Veitch is a god.

Since Wednesday night is Mark’s D&D night, I am taking the opportunity to scan some pics for show and tell.

This is a picture of my basketball team in 1982. I played for at least 5 years I think. My friend Nancy’s dad was the coach and he was a great guy. We used to have practices during the week and usually go for a slurpee afterwards and then play Intellivision or watch the hockey game. It was great fun. You may notice that I scratched out another player’s face. I was really mature and very good about dealing with my anger as you can see.

Here is a picture of me and a mystery person at my grade 9 graduation party. Again with the maturity, I cut Clare out of the picture. Check out my fabulous Madonna lace gloves and hair bow. I was so rad. I think we were making our way over to watch the breakdancing. I was miserable and angsty and waiting to go home.

This is me at Expo ‘86 in Vancouver. It was a lovely trip, the last road trip I would have with my parents. We drove to Vancouver from Edmonton in the first new car my family had – a 1986 Pontiac something-or-another.

This is me and my aunt and uncle and my mom at my brother’s grade 12 grad. Check out how stylie I was. Always with the big earrings.

In the big earring theme. I thought gigantic hot pink hoop earrings would look excellent with my graduation robes and mortar board. I was wrong. It was the 80’s though people. Cut me some slack. We actually recieved our faux diplomas (we had grad in May before school ended in June) at the big Catholic cathedral in downtown Edmonton. It was a beautiful setting to pretend we were actually done highschool.

This is me and some friends at my grade 12 grad party. I was class historian and gave a speech which was cool. I was however, the only one of my friends without a date. Don’t even think that it didn’t really really bother me. My speech was fabulous though.

I was, for a long time, obsessed with getting photobooth pictures. These are but a few spanning a number of years. I need to do some more I think.

This morning when I was getting dressed for work I realized I hadn’t ironed the left sleeve of my shirt. I have been trying to spin it into a metaphor for something all day, but I am at a loss. I ironed the other sleeve, finished dressing and went to work. Make up your own metaphor.
I would draw a parallel to how I am feeling and my ironing, but since I can’t here it is. Its like I am wearing an overcoat of “OK”. Its the Paxil. I am numb, but can still detect things under the surface. The alternative of debilitating anxiety is not acceptable right now, but the Paxil makes me feel kind of numb. My usual drug of choice is Nardil, but it is not safe if I get pregnant. My therapist says that many SSRIs, like Paxil make people feel this way. It is like I cannot access any depth of feeling. I am sad about the fertility issues, but I can’t really be sad. Same goes for happy really. I feel sort of neutral. Like Sweden. I don’t feel like I am different person exactly, just unable to feel things that I want to feel. I don’t want to be so depressed I can’t get out of bed, but this whole fertility thing sucks and some moments I just want to be there. Be blue, be sad, cry. I dunno, it is a real 20th century malady right? I feel better, but there are these things about feeling better than bother me. What a spoiled whiner. Better living through chemical living, but not perfect.
Sour Bob was expressing his concerns about drugs as well recently. He inspired me to articulate mine. He is better at it though. Go see.

I am going to a massage tonight. Envy me.
I am not sure what will happen after that other then some laying on the couch. The couch would miss me if I didn’t, right? I blame my lethargy on the cold and snow. Convenient eh?

Ok, caitlin already posted a link to this, but too bad. Go read this funny Tom Tomorrow cartoon now. dammit.

Ok, mock me if you will, but Joe Millionaire is good naughty fun. Like McDonalds or the Inquirer or watching your neighbours through binoculars. So, last night he kicked off Mo-Jo (fucking Mo-Jo, I would have kicked her ass ASAP for such a lame version of her name). She was there for the money I think and also a little weird and dumb as a stump. On his date with Melissa, he referred to her not being domesticated TWICE, I kept thinking, he wants her to be domesticated so her can sell her in a pet shop? She also wasn’t very domestic. The girl didn’t know what garlic looked like! OMG! AND, yes, in describing her intentions of giving money and time to a third world country she referred to herself as being a ‘mercenary’. HA! And I agree with Caitlin that Zora is boring as fuck. Although the preview from next week looked promising in a good slutty way. I like Sarah the best, even though I think she wouldn’t be there either if she didn’t think he had a pile of dough. She is also the best looking, in my shallow judgement. She has my vote, although they are all evil. He is dumb and evil, they are all evil and that butler is evil, yet funny.
So, next Monday night if you are watching Joe, what are you doing? Reading? ha! Turn on Fox baby, you will be the better for it.

My friend Michelle always said that if she had twins she would name them Chi chi and Fuzzy. Her dad is an avid golfer.
Not totally unlrelated – Mark and I went back to see the Reproductive Endocrinologist today (the fertility lady). She confirmed that everything was cool with my HSG , and that my uterus is open for business! W00t! The next stage of the quest for baby is injectable gonadotropins. This is as exciting as it sounds. Needles are involved. Mark and I decided to do one more round of the clomid (oral medication) before moving on to needles. The Doc was very nice and hopeful and helpful. We did have to watch a short video on how to inject me with the drugs. It was made for people who took the short bus to school I think. Mark and I kept giggling, but I went a little limp when they showed the woman injecting herself over and over again. *limp* At least we have a couple of months to de-limp. Here is where I sum up with a cliché like, ‘only time will tell’. Amen.
Tonight, I am (sadly) looking forward to Joe Millionaire. I know, I suck.

But tonight I feel tired enough that I may be able to post and sleep.
I have some pics of the snow and such for your viewing.








THIS! is a picture of a monkey teapot and kitty bobble head frame thing that caitlin sent me. She rules man. Mark asked if the kitty frame was actually a kitty that eats babies action figure. Perhaps it is….. and cait, you know i love monkeys. i also love you.

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Weekend recap is exciting as usual. We rented FUBAR, which I highly recommend and 13 Conversations About One Thing. which was arty and funky and kinda’ cool. FUBAR is a must see if you are Canadian. I am not sure if the Can-con would overpower the foreigners. Funny as hell though. Mark and I nearly peed. It is a faux documentary about headbangers filmed in Calgary. I plan to say Give ‘er a lot from now on.
I watched Alias tonight for the first time. It was decent. Do other Canadians who watch laugh everytime they refer to the Alliance? The Alliance is a right wing (nut) political party in Canada based in western Canada. I am not a supporter, so I guffawed everytime they talked about taking down the Alliance. And. Does Michael Vartan ever shave? It is some sort of character thing that he must not shave? He looks hot and scruffy and all, but if he was a secret agent for the CIA wouldn’t he occasionally have to look like he recently shaved?