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Why does this make me smugly happy? Worst drivers: Teens, doctors, lawyers

Last night Mark and I carved up some pumpkins. Although we may not have any kids at our door on halloween since we should have 8-10 inches of snow on the ground by then. Not that I am bitter.
I will get some nice photos of the lit pumpkins nestled in the snow on Friday.
You know my pumpkin was big because it obscured my huge gut.







Finally, this is the baby blanket that Styroqueen made for me the baby. I love her. Those are little sock monkeys on there!
update: don’t be too impressed by my pumpkin skillz. i got the stencil HERE

Thanks to whomever (Allah? Budha? Christina Aguilera?) led me to my short black wool jacket this morning to look for my gloves and found my keys with them. I hadn’t used my keys since Friday, I let myself in the house after work. I didn’t think I wore the black wool jacket.
And today, Edmonton is in the midst of a Winter Storm Warning. Freaking Tundra. Although better snow than fire I suppose. Maybe I can FedEx some to California….

Where the motherfuck are my car and house keys???
*head explodes*

It is no secret that I want a little girl baby. If I do have one, can she be this cute?

I offer you a verbal painting of contrast. Like I mentioned a couple of days ago, I will soon be reporting to someone new at work. I have worked here longer than she has, I have more education, and I don’t like her, but we will leave it at that.
I arrived this morning to work after walking to the bus in the pouring rain and then waiting for the bus in the same rain. I am wearing one of the only jackets that still fits me and protects me from the moisture. It isn’t very attractive. My hair is wet, I have no make-up on since I was retching into the toilet just before I left the house and I am wearing comfortable old lady shoes.
My new “boss” got here this morning (before me of course), after driving here in her Lexus luxury sedan and parking underneath our building in a heated parkade. She is thin and stylish and wearing a well pressed, professional suit. Her shoes have a slight heel and are immaculate. She has obviously spent a good deal of time on her make-up this morning and her lipstick is perfection.
Just to be clear, there isn’t a huge disparity of incomes here; I choose to take the bus. I am finding it hard to keep up looking stylish and professional yet choosing from what is currently available in maternity wear. Apparently other pregnant women either work in casual settings where overalls and yoga pants are common or are already at home waiting to pop. Coming in this morning after looking and feeling like a drowned rat was just sort of the final kick in the pants after being given a bit of the shaft at my work. I just keep reminding myself that in a few months I will be off of work for a year and away from Lexus lady. In the meantime, I am lookin’ fine. I should have taken a picture. Oh! and I wear glasses, so I arrived at work all blurry and spotty too.

Two things
1) Vanilla scented “perfume” does not make you smell nice. You smell like a cookie. It makes want to hurl when I have to sit next to your baked goods ass on the bus.
2) Why, for the love of fuck, is singing a birthday song to someone in a restaurant still ok? And why would anyone tell restaurant staff it is your birthday, I mean they might sing to you? Is a free dessert really worth it?

Thanks to everyone for the thoughtful comments on my anxiety post. Things at work actually proved even a bit more anxiety provoking today. The condensed version is that I will soon be reporting to someone other than my regular boss, and I don’t particularly like this person AND it was done without consulting me. There is some other stuff too, but I feel a bit defeated tonight and the details are probably best left off of the blog.
In regards to my taking drugs and fetal safety, doctors are generally pretty comfortable with pregnant mom’s taking this class of drugs – SSRIs, but it doesn’t stop me from worrying about it. It also affects breastfeeding, which I am not certain about yet. And this low a dose of the drug seems to render me very little in the way of side effects while still keeping my shit in tact. I know some people are rapidly anti-drug, worried about side effects, etc etc. While I understand those points of view, I don’t feel like I have a choice. There have been times when I was off meds when I managed ok, but sometimes the alternative is unacceptable. When I first went on at 19, I would have cut off a limb, given up years of my life, paid any amount of money for some relief from the emotional pain. Side effects were moot at the time. It is hard to postulate on what might have come of me had I not been medicated at the time.
I am just rereading your comments blog people, and you really are so nice. I will try and find a good picture of my gap tooth look for rob. My dad says that people with a gap between their front teeth are inherently funny. A photographer at a wedding I was in as well as several drunk guys in bars tell me it is a sign of sexual prowess. Hey, whatever gets you through the night baby.
Not much else to report from tonicland. I am feeling a little bruised and crapulent from work. Just know that I really appreciate the blog community support and it is certainly one of the very best reasons to have a blog. There is just no other way to get this kind of good shit.
p.s. there is seriously NOTHING on tv on Tuesday nights.

Benoit is now grabbing my Ernie puppet by its hair and tossing it off of my monitor over and over again. Definite PBS issues.
I didn’t work today, as I haven’t pretty much since I found out I was pregnant. It still makes me feel guilty, but I am so tired I can’t imagine putting in a 5-day week anymore. I had an appointment with my therapist today. You may recall we took a break from each other in May. I went because I have been feeling anxious. For real, not just something to blog about. I am anxious for some obvious reasons, the impending spawn, life, work, etc etc. But really, I think this is the anxiety disorder to a large extent. I chose to stay on some anti-anxiety medication while pregnant. It makes me anxious and a bit worried to be on it while pregnant, but it really wasn’t manageable without. I have been on a very low does, taking a low dose pill every other day. There hasn’t been a lot of research on pregnancy and anti-depressants, much of it is anecdotal, but I am staying on. Ok, now I am justifying it to you dear reader. My point was that I am feeling a little edgy as of late and it is uncomfortable. Partially because a little edgy can lead to a lot of edgy and then depression, scariness, dogs and cats living together, etc. I am going to start taking the drugs everyday and see how things go. All the talking in the world may not do much if my brain is taking over things. Good god I am rambling. It is hard to ramble with a cat