My bathrobe is going to get up and walk away on its own soon. I have been wearing it almost non-stop for a week. At least there are bits of chocolate ice cream on it for late night snacks.
I am feeling better. Not all better, but better. Anxiety-wise anyhow. I still have this flu, which is really now a killer cold. I can’t breathe properly and am coughing a lot. Of course I cannot take any good cold medication, so it

I am feeling a little bit less anxious since I upped my medication, but still barely keeping a grip on things. I also now have the flu. I am sure this is partially from lack of sleep.
Last night I forced myself to go to our prenatal class despite feeling awful. I didn’t want to miss something. During a practice of breathing during labour I thought I was going to faint. They brought me juice; I thought my blood sugar was low. It was horrible. I thought something was seriously wrong. They called an ambulance. The ambulance guys checked me out and my sugar was fine, my blood pressure was fine, my pulse was fine. Verdict: anxiety. I have never ever ever had that sort of reaction from anxiety before. I was convinced it was something physical. It really felt like an intense low blood sugar reaction, but worse. It was very scary. I have dealt with panic and anxiety attacks since I was a teenager, and never like this. I can only assume that my flu symptoms – vomiting, not eating, etc, made it all worse. But I am totally embarrassed.
Anyhow, thanks for the nice thoughts and words. It does help. Is it ironic that we are in the middle of a heavy snowfall warning here too?
Jen

Hi all. Just a short note to let you know that posting may be light for a while. My anxiety is around with full force and it renders me a bit speechless and preoccupied. I will be meeting again with my psychiatrist to discuss options, but really the only option is increasing my medication. At this point, I think I am ok with it. Anyhow. More soon.
Love jen

Is it my fault that the baby wants Zesty Cheese Doritos?
and chocolate ice cream?
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They are going to be posting an ad for my job soon. My one-year maternity leave. It makes me nervous. They will love my replacement more than me. My replacement will do my job better and they will curse my return. My replacement will bring everyone fresh baked treats everyday and no one will want me back. Yes, I am still in junior high and insecure, what of it?
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I am guessing it is the anemia, which is making me feel kind of dizzy and weak in the knees. I am hoping the I. Ron pills will make this all better. Regardless, I am caving in to my gibbledness and driving to work instead of taking the bus. I am a wimp.
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The second Matrix movie blew goats. We will definitely wait to rent the 3rd one. The sex scene was icky, whoever thought I would say that? And why no bras in Zion?
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Seeing how much I love my cats, I am somewhat scared at how much I might love the baby. Although, you will be hard pressed to prove to me ahead of time that any baby is cuter than a kitten.

My goal is to become the #1 site when searching for Dildo.
Since Michelle doesn’t have a blog, I HAD to share this with you. There is a little town in Atlantic Canada (Newfoundland) called Dildo. Seriously.

For more information on Dildo (tee hee) go here.
Michelle also got me a cool autograph while in Newfoundland that I will share with you all later…

I have to stop watching The OC.
So, I saw my psychiatrist yesterday. For those reading along, I have a therapist AND a psychiatrist, the psychiatrist is really just my drug pusher, but I like that about her. I told her yesterday that my anxiety level is increasing, as I get closer to actually having this baby. So, she does what all good shrinks would do in this situation. She describes the excruciating labour she endured for each of her three children. The painkillers, the ripping, the incompetent doctors, the TWENTY-SIX hours of labour. Perhaps she forgot she was treating me for an anxiety disorder. She did mention that she would like to see me almost every week after I deliver since I am at higher risk for post-partum depression. This actually made me feel better. Knowing that I would have somewhere to go to make sure I don’t go completely mental with a newborn. This sort of offset the horrible birth stories.
I did not go buy gonch yesterday, Mark took me today. In my house, growing up, gonch was for boys and ginch was for girls. The whole lexicon of underwear is a complicated one here in Western Canada. Can I just say? $25 for 3 pairs of underwear is insane. In addition to the gonch, I also bought this suit. Apart from the gonch prices, I actually find most maternity wear quite reasonable.
We also had our first prenatal class last night. I am going to present you with a short, politically incorrect, somewhat mean list of people who maybe shouldn’t be having children.

I love I. Ron. Butterfly.
Thanks for the comments and suggestions re: the anemia. I have actually been feeling really faint and unsteady on my feet all weekend. I am assuming this is the anemia, but I suppose it could be the parasite baby that is using all my energy. I feel like a guy, all my blood is located in one area. I am taking some sort of iron supplement (which I take w/ Vit c and folic acid), but haven’t noticed a change yet.
I did manage to buy some fabric this weekend. Some red velour for a festive Christmas muumuu shirt and some powder blue fleece with snowflakes on it for a wintry muumuu shirt. woo! I keep having to sit down though. I need one of those scooters.
I have today off, like every other Monday I suppose. I am going to see my shrink today to tell her how anxious I have been and let her know that I am back up to my full dose of the junk she prescribed. I am disappointed I haven’t been able to come off of it totally while pregnant, but, well, I can’t.
Not much else to report. I have tomorrow off too, as does Mark. We might finally rent the second Matrix. I think we have already lost our nerd memberships for waiting this long. Oh! And tonight we have our first prenatal class. I am hoping for some good mock value if not some actual information. After I see my shrink today I might go buy some Gigantic MaternityGonch.
p.s. Yes, I realize that the above link refers to Gonch as men’s underwear, but they are wrong! Gonch are gonch. Gonch has no gender.

I am tired. Literally. The doctor told me yesterday I was anemic, which having it confirmed makes me feel more tired today. Since I don’t like liver, I am going to take some supplements and listen to Iron Man a lot. I will keep you posted on how this method works.
Mark worked til 3 am last night and back this morning for 9. I blame George Lucas.
This is an extra long weekend for me. I am taking Monday off and Tuesday is a statutory holiday for Remembrance Day. I have no plans other than the Black Sabbath marathon. I hope Mark is able to take a day or two of rest, but only the Wookies know for sure.
Even my blog posts are anemic! Have a fab weekend people.

So, not everyone has to carry a jar of their own urine in their purse the days they visit the doctor? It is kind of inconvenient when I accidentally pull it out while paying for my coffee, but the OBGYN’s office insists.

I can’t help but think that whenever I feel a thump of some kind coming from the baby, she/he is trying to tell me something. “Whats that baby? Timmy fell down the well!?” etc. I am just not getting a clear picture of what the message is. Could it be; “that chili you had for lunch was too spicy”, or “I hate that Summer Roberts“, or possibly, “taking the bus is for pussies”. It is cleary some sort of uterus morse code that I will probably never understand.