Is it working? i just can’t freakin’ help myself. She is so cute, I admit it. How did two such scruffy lookin’ nerds create such a lovely little thing?
And dude, she slept from 10:30pm til 7am this morning. I slept from 3am til 7am. What. the. fuck. is. wrong. with. me.? I can’t sleep. I AM TIRED. I swear. She is sleeping right now, although if I press my ear against the monitor I can hear something. SLEEP BABY SLEEP! I am going to knock myself on the head with a bal peen hammer and go to bed, but first. .
Here is C wearing her monkey sweater, a pressie from blogless Amy. Could it be cuter?

she is sticking her tongue out at you! yes you!
p.s.why do my glasses look all 1980’s tinted in photos sometimes?

Ok, I updated my linkages. I need to check them over to make sure I didn’t miss any. I do read a lot of mofo blogs though. Not working full-time has interfered with my reading, but I am getting back on track as the baby sleeps more and therefore I sleep more. If you think I missed you, lemme know. I am sleep deprived and low on seratonin, so I am little slow eh.
Although last night, the C slept from 12:30am-7am. Oh. My. God. I fell asleep at 2am, so it was the biggest chunk of sleep I have had since the one night I spent at home while C was in the NICU. She was all discombobulated because she had her first immunizations yesterday. Three needles! Poor little peanut.
Hey, I think I am ignoring a Law and Order repeat that I haven’t seen. How can that be?
Check out the little tomato head.

p.s. does Bruce Willis not look a million years old in the previews for The Whole 10 Yards?

grab bag
My shoulder and my ear and my head are sore from tripping over the breast pump, the floor heater, and my gigantic pants, and falling into the Fisher Price swing and the wall. I was holding Charlotte as it was really scary. She is totally alright, and I am just a bit traumatized. Mom needs to learn how to walk I guess.
* * * *
Charlotte is sleeping better at night. She is generally sleeping in at least 2 hour chunks, sometimes more. I, on the other hand, still find falling asleep really difficult. I can try and get to sleep t 11pm after having less than 5 hours sleep the night before and still lay awake until 2 or 3 until Charlotte wakes up. I think it is just an insomnia cycle and not me “worrying” about the baby. Sometimes I am thinking about buying new pants, sometimes work (dumb I know), sometimes laundry, dinner, my garden, getting a haircut, being a mom, being a good mom, my stretch marks, my boobies, etc. Her daytime schedule isn’t as predictable. Sometimes she naps most of the day off and on, other times she is up from 9am to 11pm needed parental snuggling and entertainment and boobies.
* * * *
Speaking of boobies. I don’t believe I have mentioned just how difficult breastfeeding has been. I know it is for a lot of first time mums. Part of our problem was Charlotte being in the NICU and getting tube and bottle fed. Also, she is an impatient little bugger. She will shake her head and scream with my boobie SO CLOSE to her little mouth, but seems to be disappointed that milk is not shooting in her mouth like a fountain. Other times she is ok. Depends on her mood and this is getting better. Her neural net seems to be getting the whole sucking for food business. I also hired a lactation consultant for help. I highly recommend this for any mom. They don’t just latch on properly out of the womb despite what the hippies say.
* * * *
The wireless network doesn’t work so well in the teevee room which is a bummer. Sometimes I REALLY need to know how tall Jada Pinket Smith is, and I need www.imdb.com on hand AT ALL TIMES. Mark won’t admit it, but we need someone who is more hardware than we are to improve our wireless performance. Sounds kind of like a circus act eh? The Great Markini will perform his world famous wireless networking act! Right after that bear in a fez rides a tricycle.
* * * *
Mark went to a stamp show on Saturday. It reminded me of the Gun and Knife shows that they used to advertise on TV in Detroit when I lived in Windsor. They had the catchiest jingle. Something about bringing the wife and kids and a friend down to see the newest in guns and knives. The whole thing made me feel excessively Canadian. Actually living so close to Detroit made me feel really Canadian. They used to make fun of my accent and we would make fun of people from Michigan with skis on their roofs in July coming to “Canada” for winter fun.
* * * *
We finally caught the finally of Sex in the City here in “Canada”. I was satisfied. Yet, despite my avoidance of spoilers of the ending on other people’s blogs and the news, it was spoiled for us by Will & Grace of all things. And if you can recall
Samantha

how can so much poop
come from so tiny a bum
cute little bottom

To offset the photo of me in the birth story entry below, here is one taken tonight. My in-laws leave tomorrow night, and we have had quite a nice visit actually. More on that later. Check out this picture though. Here I am holding my baby, sitting near the dishwasher with my latest copy of BUST laying on it on it. I am so cool.

Ok, I am going to make a stab at telling Charlotte’s birth story. It may not be funny or even really entertaining, since it really wasn’t either of those things. I a lucky that our Doula wrote up a little summary of our birth story for us, because I don’t remember much after about 14 hours of labour. I am attempting point form since those of us with faux ADHD can read it better.
Jan 27, 2004

Blog posts you could be reading if I had more time right now to write them:
(yes, I could be sleeping, I mean Charlotte is, but why fake sleeping and compose this in my head when I could actually post it?)
1) Charlotte’s birth story – failed epidurals, nitrous oxide! a tale for the whole family!
2) Things people say to new parents (lets just say for example ME), that are no way near fucking helpful. Example: “Sometime babies just need to cry themselves to sleep”.
3) My boobs weigh a million pounds.
4) St. Patrick’s Day reminded me of how much I used to drink and all the stupid things I have done while drunk. I was going to provide anecdotes and some pictorial proof of my inability to stop at just one or 6 beers back in the day.
5) In-law rage. Why hasn’t this caught on as a legal defense strategy?
p.s. Yes, my in-laws are visiting
p.p.s. We sent out 74 thank-you/birth announcement cards. I made 80 magnets to send with them.
p.p.p.s. I still love Rice Krispies with the passion of a small bonfire.
p.p.p.p.s. My mother in-law in on the fucking Atkins diet. I know he is dead, but that man created a diet that is the current scourge of humanity’s eating habits.
I miss blogging more and I miss instant message caitlin important things like: “dude, i have a huge zit on my chin”, sending the ‘poo all sorts of links to ratemykitten, and mocking the papers that estella has to write.
But my baby is cute, even when she is awake ALL DAY and well past midnight.
zzzzzzzzzzz
Let me know which incomplete post you want first. And just so’s ya knows, the boob post will be short, yet heavy. ha! Ok dear, I’m going to bed now, I promise.

Some things before I go pretend to sleep.

We took the spawn to work today. It was so nice to visit and even better to leave. I want to win the lottery and never go back.
I mean look!

And I am typing this entry from MY BED on our WIRELESS internet connection. I think I came a little last night when I did it for the first time.
In fact it has been a great week. I mean, there is the laptop. And BioMom left tonight after a week of cooking, cleaning, and babysitting, which was so fabulous. I bought her some booze as a thank you. Seriously. I was able to sleep pretty much everyday from about 9am-1pm after whatever type of sleep i did or did not get during the night. I feel fairly rested and more like myself. Although I am waiting for the Poopsmith to be awake at any moment.
As an aside, I need to get my links back up. I will soon, I promise. I just got my bookmarks all sorted out on this machine. I haven’t forgotten any of my blogloves and am still catching up. This surfin’ from bed business really helps.
Before I sign off and attempt to sleep (which means lie here for an hour pondering), I wanted to share with you the songs I sing to Charlotte while she is feeding. See, the little Monkey is still wee. The jaundice made her loggy and tired and we are catching up on her weight gain. I am hoping that tomorrow she will be over 8 pounds. Anyhow, I sing to her to keep her awake while feeding so she eats more. Here are a few greatest hits:

Boobie Ooobie Wooobie woobie dancin’ shoes, make me dancin’ all night (uncredited)
Any other suggestions are welcome.
And I also need some photos of the onsies that cait and estella made, because they rule! Soon, I promise.
In the meantime, here is Grandma #2, BioMom, my bio-mom, with Charlotte

And because I am sharing. . . the herbs I am taking to increase my breast milk supply make both me and the baby smell vaguely of celery.

I think dooce mentioned this too, but every evening I start to panic a little. The uncertainty of if or when I will get sleep starts to freak me out. BioMom was telling me tonight that you have to get at least 4 hours of continuous sleep per 24 hours to be rested and feel like you slept. Ok. Someone tell Charlotte. I KNOW this will end eventually, but right now, I feel like a zombie. She generally sleeps for 1-3 hours stretches at a time. She once slept for 4 hours, but I was busy eating or some such, not even imagining she would do it. Last night she slept for 3, 1-hour increments. That