I had a dream last night that I went to my high school reunion. I have never actually been to one despite graduating *mumbling* in 1987. Anyhow. Estella was my date, but was very busy getting a job evaluation the night of the big soiree. I was kind of glad Estella was so busy, because she looked way better than I did. Also, Tom Cruise gave a speech and Everything But the Girl was the band that we hired to play. It was kinda’ weird as well because there were only about 4 people I went to high school with there. The rest were hired extras.
I realize I don’t share my dreams all the time with you, but honestly, most of them are like this. Almost every night I have a guest star. It

Ok, seriously. Is erectile dysfunction such a huge epidemic that it requires at least three different medications to treat (by my count)? Drug companies should figure out how to medicate men in order to help them cook, clean, take care of kids, and plan dinner parties. THEN they would get laid more. (ed note: this is in no way a reflection on my spousal unit)

I am sitting in my basement “office” with the baby monitor pressed against my ear. Charlotte went to sleep at 8 and I am all paranoid she will be up soon. Mark is at his weekly D&D game avoiding being killed by an elf. I am also watching the O.C. again because I am taping the West Wing. How sad am I? Oooo but Cleo is licking her ass. As least someone is having a good time.
There has been some miscommunication with the bionic mom’s moving intentions and my regular mom’s advice regarding. Again with the complicated. I want to eat worms. Actually I want to eat trifle that I have sitting in the fridge. (going to get)
Is it so wrong to eat leftover trifle right from the cut crystal bowl it was served in with a spoon? Mmm cakey goodness.
I saw the lactation consultant again today. Charlotte has been refusing to nurse for the last 2 days. I put my boob in her mouth and she screams like I am shoving bamboo shoots under her eyeballs. (I just know this discussion will garner me tons of excellent hits) Breastfeeding has been difficult from the start, I have flat nipples and have to use a silicone breast shield. Ohmygod, I just talked about my nipples. Anyhow, just when feeding was getting better she stages a suck in. The consultant says to keep trying but she may never nurse again. I can pump, but pumping alone does not provide enough milk for her. I have to give her formula. Now, I have been supplementing her with formula for a while, a little everyday, but this mean more. More commas too apparently. Anyhow, I like nursing and this makes me sad. I want to do this for her. With her. I never thought it would be so important to me, but it is. I feel kinda’ left out of motherhood today. I would never ever judge someone for not breastfeeding, but if it turns out this it is I will feel sad.
Ok, the trifle is gone and I am going to try to go to bed early. OH HEY! I forgot to say that for 2 nights in a row Charlotte has slept through the night. One night 9pm-7am and last night 10pm-6:30am. I am one lucky mom.



Lovely glow effect courtesy of dooce
And last night I dreamt I was shopping at Baby Gap and Baby Eddier Bauer (no such thing I know). I prefer the celebrity dreams.

So their house on the O.C. is huge, but only has 2 bedrooms apart from the pool house so Ryan has to sleep on Seth’s floor? WTF? Damn, you Americans don’t get the O.C. til Wednesday do you? Well, read this and get back to me.
BioMom (my bionic mom), has gone home. We again had a nice visit. She talked about possibly moving here. Right now she lives about 5 hours south. She even looked at a house across the street from my parents, which was for sale (my parents took her to look at it believe it or not). It might complicate my life having another close family member in town, but it might be good. I want her to do whatever will make her happy, which she isn’t right now. Between being adopted and married, my family is too large. And complicated at times.
I was talking to my secret boyfriend today. He works at the University I work, but am on leave from. All I had to talk about my Charlotte’s diaper rash, how she isn’t gaining weight fast enough, and how I needed a shower. I am so delightful. Good thing I am not single and lookin’ fer love, man. I haven’t washed my hair in 3 days and I noticed my shirt had poop on it today. God knows what my sweatpants are carrying around on themselves.
You’re not angry, you’re just pointing:

I desperately need some exercise, possibly even more than I need more sleep.
But its after 11 and I am going to bed. Charlotte might sleep til 3 or 4 or 5 and then again til 7 or 8 in the AM. Hoorah!

I actually don’t eat tofu. I know its good for me and an excellent alernative to meat, but I don’t eat it.
Alas, I had another whopper last night. I dreamt that I was getting married to a George Clooney/Goran Visnjic type of guy (ER fetish?) on the set of The Princess Bride. All the cool, happening, popular girls from highschool were there. I was wearing this beautiful bronze coloured silk dress, but I leaked breast milk all over it. Sort of put a damper on the proceedings.
Good lord, Goran Visnjic was born in 1972. Yikes, I am getting old. At least George Clooney is over 40.
I think I am watching too much teevee.

Last night I had a dream that Mark left me for another woman and cancelled our joint VISA card. I ran off with my crush from grade 7, but not before I became a dancer for Britney Spears’ tour. I kept telling her I was too fat to be a dancer in such a big show, but she assured me that enough gold body glitter and an amazing g-string would make me look fabulous.
She was right.

Busy with this.

I WIN!
And this:

I realize I live in “Canada”, but I can still complain about motherfucking snow in April.

I’m like the Seinfeld of blogs today, please still love me.
You think it is hard to match up socks when you are doing laundry? Try keeping socks this size together:

I am in my “home office” (which is a term that makes me laugh, its not like I do anything useful in here), and waiting for the dryer. I am hoping to match some wee socks eventually. She is still so tiny to me. Last Monday at her immunization she was 9lbs 4oz. We go for a checkup tomorrow, so maybe she has doubled in size since last week. You never know! She could be like a hulk baby!
I am going to have to recant my joyous tales about C sleeping for hours (like 10-7) last week. I think it was the immunization that through her off. She is back to erratic baby schedule. Lately, she is sleeping from about 10 or 11 pm until about 2-4 am. And then again ’til 7 or 8. Or, she tosses in one more wakie upie somewhere in there. I am reading this book, as per dooce and a couple of other mums. I have also read this book. So far, both are helpful, but someone could make a killing inventing baby sleeping pills. Charlotte’s nights are better than her days, where she just catnaps for 15 or 20 minutes. I can usually do one task during those times such as hoover down some food and shoot up with insulin, load the dishwasher, take out the garbage, put on something other than my nightgown, or sit down and rock back and forth, turning the light on and off in a corner of the dining room. Whichever fits my mood.
I am sleeping better right now too, but I have an awful head cold that I hope I don’t pass on to the nut. I can’t imagine a baby with this cold, talk about cranky.
During my insomniac moments in the last couple of weeks, I have jotted down some notes on paper in a little book by my bed. Mostly ideas for blog entries. I have one on all my years working in retail clothing sales that should be good for a laugh and some fabulous pictures of amateur fashion shows. Who knows then I will find the concentration to write it, but soon I hope.
My bio-mom (BioMom) {Can I stop calling her my bio-mom, do you all know who I mean}, is coming on Easter Monday for a week. I am hoping to get some good computer time while she is here. I still have emails to return, and such from when the babe was born. I also want to put some of the last 2 years of digital photos on a CD and actually print them. Any of you guys have a suggestion for a good place to get digi photos printed? I will have an assload.
Also, does anyone know how to get hot pink Sharpie™ out of a new lovely green cardigan? I blame all the mucous in my head for making me slip with the pen.
That