November 28, 2004

single entendre

Filed under: Uncategorized — jennifer @ 10:09 pm

Monday Night Football: Rams Vs. Packers. And they say there is no homosexual subtext in football.

November 22, 2004

who do they think they are? and where did they get that car?

Filed under: Uncategorized — jennifer @ 12:53 am

I really do think about the blog a lot. It seems I spend a lot of time despamming comments on the blog. I compose witty, literate, and fascinating posts while I lie in bed at night. I wish that were good enough for you people! :-)
I have been busy doing thus:
Having dreams where Ben Affleck (read about him in STAR magazine Wednesday night), was taking hormones to make him get girl parts to have a baby (Thursday night’s C.S.I.). He was convinced he got pregnant and gave birth to Charlotte, even though I (of course) had (Thursday night’s ER). I tried to explain that I was pretty certain they took charlotte out of me with a big knife, but I admitted it all happened behind a curtain. I was forced to leave Mark to be with Ben so I could keep Charlotte. Once we reconciled ourselves to that we went to eat at a Greek restaurant and had lots of olives (Wednesday nights olive eating binge). While at the restaurant, we realized we had forgotten Charlotte somewhere. Oh! and when someone called me to let mw know that Ben had “given birth”, they called me on my cell phone, which isn’t really working.
* * * * *
Saturday night Mark and I played the 20th Anniversary edition of Trivial Pursuit and it SUCKED, but which I mean, it was difficult. It took us forever to finish the game. But we played the game in front of a lovely fire. In front of the fireplace, not made of the game, I swear. Mark then taught me how to play Texas hold-em poker. I think I won 52 million quatloos.
* * * * *
Charlotte is crawling all over everything like some sort of pink-clad, hornless, and hairless mountain goat. She is very close to sticking her tongue into an electrical socket. We need some of those cover thingies.
* * * * *
I have been watching a lot of Oprah. Suburban Swingers was an excellent episode.
* * * * *
We are almost done our Christmas shopping. I love the interweb.
* * * * *
We leave to see Mark’s parents on the other side of the country on December 12th, so I need to get all my baking done ASAP! Who wants to come over and help me roll rumballs?
* * * * *
I will shortly see a photo of my biological father for the first time. He is 19 at the time of the picture I believe. It is freaking me out a bit. BioMom has decided to send him some photos of us and a letter. Discombobulation. It is a door I never thought would open. I guess an old friend got a hold of the photo and she has a way of contacting him, he is on the other side of the country as well. Weird. I am not sure what will come of all this.
* * * * *
Seriously people, if you didn’t read Mark’s post below (and if you didn’t you suck), check this out!

November 13, 2004

Interregnum

Filed under: Uncategorized — jennifer @ 4:59 pm

Sorry, jennui readers, I know that Jennifer promised that I would write something, but I’ve been playing this little game called Halo 2 (I just finished it), and Half-Life 2 comes out next Tuesday … so, for a little while, there will be righteous alien shooting practice for the bacon bringer; I’ll be ready for the next invasion, let me tell you!
Apparently, I thought I was the one fixated on numbers and words in this house. After all, who would bother taking the numbers 0 to 9, a minus sign a plus sign and an equal sign that came out of a dollar store special magnet box to create a mathematically correct formula? For your reference: 904-876+23=51. (Make a similarly correct formula by removing the minus sign from the valid characters for extra bonus marks! Prize given to first poster if your right hand side of the formula is larger than 1500!) Apparently our own regular poster has quite the fixation when it comes to all things Intraweb. So, Jennifer started trolling through her referal logs. These web terms are quite funny … imagine having a downed tree with a URL engraved on it, refering you somewhere. Who has the time to carve URLs on logs? Frankly, there are three things that one does in the forest … and none of them involve carving, chiseling or defacing nature. There might be the occasional bending, folding or spindling when a post office employee gets out there; that’s why you have to write “Do Not Bend, Fold or Spindle When Travelling Through The Forest” on your letters! Did you know that spindleshanks means to have long skinny legs? I thought I knew what spindle meant … but now, I’m not so sure. In any case, there are many different “logs” lying around telling Jennifer what is linked to our site.
And lo and behold, there’s a ezBoard web page that pulls a lot of things off of jennui. So, Jennifer went to have a look. And, the board has a lovely picture of Jennifer in the background in her Carmen Miranda outfit (circa 1995) that had been posted on her blog earlier. The web page states something about requiring membership to join in the community. The name of the board is buebermenschen. Now, my German is adequate for translating this; after all, I’ve heard two “German” people speak on Hogan’s Heroes before … so I think it means something like Italian Elvis impersonators with a lisp. Either that, or that’s a truly obscure Bloom County reference (’Toons For Our Times, page 78).
I tried to get in to the community, just to make sure that they weren’t a bunch of raving sheep buggerers (not that there’s anything wrong with that), or have a plastic banana fetish (what you do with your orifices is fine with me, as long as I don’t have to pay to watch it), or are a community of bears. True story: I was so naive back in 1996 when someone sent me an invitation to look at a bear’s web page, after I had posted what I thought was a cute picture of a teddy bear wearing a leather jacket on my web page … apparently, a “bear” is a term for big chubby hairy gay men, and my picture was code to indicate that I was one of them! My page had been linked into a webring of “Bears on the Web” … and let’s just say that there’s a whole other side to the Internet that I hadn’t seen until that day, and I have never been there since.
Where was I? Oh, right … Jennifer’s picture on some strange invite-only web board. The Wizard has foiled my attempts to figure out who these people are, or if it’s just a strange place to quote Nietzche at one another. I needed to create a new account on ezBoard, but they weren’t going to get my real name. So, I decided to create Snot Bag The Fourth, a female 29 year old from somewhere in Millwoods. Of course, I am neither 29 nor female, but they really don’t seem to care all that much about veracity. My nihilism shows through when you give me a DSL connection and a dialog box to enter “personal” information. We’ll see if the wizard of the club will let me in … all I know is that I’m not buggering any sheep to get into this club. Naked wrestling like the Skull & Bones Society? Well, maybe. Only if there is Jell-O involved. (Why am I craving Jell-O this evening? I have to stop typing now, and go get a snack.) I’ll keep you informed.

November 10, 2004

*gulp*

Filed under: Uncategorized — jennifer @ 12:43 am

Sorry, I’ve been busy.

Mark is jealous. He is composing an entry for you instead.

November 3, 2004

it’s not all good, it’s not all bad

Filed under: Uncategorized — jennifer @ 11:00 pm

some recent signs that the apocolypse might be near:

  • i have a huge painful pimple. ON MY NECK.
  • Becker is still on the air.
  • your government may care who you sleep with.
  • microvable PB&J without the crust.
  • that chick’s 80’s mall bangs i saw on the news today who was arrested for murder.
  • that dude from Texas(s).
  • the return of Flashdance style cut off sweatshirts.
    some reasons to keep on going regardless:

  • kitties
  • puppies
  • babies
  • Desperate Housewives and The O.C.
  • Christmas is coming
  • hugs
  • Dr. Vegas was cancelled.
  • November 1, 2004

    get a doctor, to take your picture, so i can see you from the inside as well

    Filed under: Uncategorized — jennifer @ 12:33 am

    I am going to sleep soon I swear. It should feel like 1:30 am right? Since BioMom was here I have been sleeping more since she would take care of Charlotte. I am a lazy slacker mom. She left this morning though, so I am back to being a 50’s housewife again, just without the pantyhose. I just wanted to get a blog entry up because I love you, that is just how much I care.
    I had a lovely visit with B-Mom. We did some errands, cooked, played with baby, chatted, had a couple of fires in the fireplace, rented movies. It was like a 6 day slumber party. Charlotte got a new car seat and is crawling. Big week chez jennui. Oh! And she has her two front teeth so she can wish you Merry Christmas.
    The whole family is getting flu shots on Wednesday (sorry America). I am also saying a Novena so Bush stays out of the White House. No flu shots and a heinous president is just too much for me. I care because I am a good neighbour.
    I am not a huge Halloween fan, but we do like to carve pumpkins. We also dressed Charlotte up because we are huge gaybos. New parents eh?
    Mark’s pumpkin is Trogdor and mine is the kitty. Check out my Ted Nugent hair!
    Oh oh! Almost no one in my “real life” thinks Charlotte looks like me. Even my Mom calls her “little Mark”. So thanks!






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