Read about my black eye here
and for your afternoon enjoyment here is a recent charlotte.

There is a fabulous Mexican Town(e) in Detroit. We used to go often whilst in Windsor. Our favourite place to go was Xochimilco’s (we just called it “soshee’s”). The best dish was flaming cheese. It was cheese, peppers, onions, and sausage in a cast iron pan and set on fire somehow. Years of alcohol abuse has blocked some details, but it was great. I think it was Karen or Tiffany (one of my roommates) who used to say flaming cheese gave you flaming ass. It must have been Karen, because I can’t see Tiff’ eating it. She used to order McChickens plain. In fact, she still does. Anyhow, you put the flaming cheese into a warm tortilla. Yumm. We could go shop at Twelve Oaks Mall, and then Xochimilco’s for lunch. It was always about 7 bucks or something each. Unless we got drinks, but it was better not to cross the Ambassador all loaded. Getting caught smuggling all sorts of cheap American booze was bad enough without anyone in the car being drunk. We did get caught once trying to take a lot of liquor across. The fact that there was 5 of us in someone’s dad’s Oldsmobile might have tipped off the border guard. I was cautious and bought nothing figuring they would finger us. But I think one of our car mates had to pay about $150 in duty.
I also took a road trip into Toledo, OH my first year in Windsor. There was a travelling exhibit of Monet’s water lilies at the Toledo Institute of Art and I wanted to see it. I took a couple of friends and we hit the road. Toledo was pretty uninspiring, sorry Toldeo-ites, but the Monet exhibit was excellent.
I was only in Windsor for two years since I had already done more than half of a BA here in Edmonton. But it was two fabulous years. Another adventure was a drive down to Daytona Beach for spring break. The drive was hell. We were in my 1985 Cavalier and there was five of us. Someone always got the hump. The time in Florida was filled with what you might expect, lots of drinking and anonymous smooching (except for me of course). There were free t-shirts and one night where 5 shots cost 50 bucks Canadian. That was a mistake. The drive home was worse than going there. We were damp, cold, tired as all fuck and I ended up driving through Ohio in freezing rain.
We didn’t go to Detroit all the time, but when bars took Canadian money at par and drinks were a dollar, we indulged now and again. There was an incident at ClubLand involving some Miller Genuine Draft, bribing a bouncer and some military dude named Cody that I would rather forget.
Karen, can I come and visit you before the baby comes and we (+Cathy) can go to Xochimilco’s?

One of the great things about going to University in Windsor like I did, was it’s proximity to a few fabulous American cities. Chicago is one of my favourite cities and it was about a 5 hour drive from Windsor.
My last year in Windsor, my friend Linda came to visit from Edmonton. We drove to Chicago to see the sights and drink crappy American beer. One of the things we did in Chicago was take a tour of the NBC building. The Jenny Jones show was taped in that building. When the show was still on the air. I just did a quick google to find out it is no longer. I didn’t know. Anyhow, while leaving the building after our tour, some skinny guy in a purple suede fringed jacket (yeah i know) totally plowed into me. He apologized and went on his way.
When Linda returned to Edmonton she caught the Jenny Jones show that taped that day. Purple Fringed Jacket man was on. Topic: Men Who Love Big Women. I was simultaneously appalled and flattered. We should have gone to see Oprah.

shake my tree
http://www.milkandcookies.com/stuff/fbsjoker.asx (Windows .asx link)

I am so happy that the Walmart price slashing happy face found a female friend to slash prices with him. It must have been lonely to make things go from $8.88 to $7.77 all by himself.

What the hell is with Miss Golden Globe? It is so lame. Nothing too spectacularly horrible tonight. I kinda’ miss Bjork’s swan outfit. It was nice not to see Peter Jackson and his wife looking like homeless people. Mostly I like the outfits, especially since I don’t see a lot of movies in the theatres. I am a big renter. I also like having television in the mix. I feel like tv people are more my people. Will Leonardo ever look older than 19? I love Charlize Theron’s dress. And Scarlett Johanson’s, but not her lipstick colour. I really miss having my friend Shonda around to go over the inane details of award shows with.
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Charlotte banged her lip on the coffee table tonight near the end of Desperate Housewives. She bled. And cried. But we all survived. I am also continuously bleeding from my fingers still. I might have to start wearing gloves.
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Speaking of renting, I saw Napoleon Dynamite and Garden State last night. Both good, but I liked Garden State a lot. Maybe it was all the talk of psychiatrists and Lithium that got me excited. I have a little crush on Zach Braff now, but feel kinda’ old lady dirty for it. Seriously, how did I get to 35 years old?
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Again speaking of. Still trying to nail out some diagnoses and issues with the psychiatrist. The list of what’s wrong with me is just so long. I have been spending a lot of time hibernating a bit, since it has been dangerously cold here. This week looks better, but I see there is a freezing rain warning. Nice. Sometimes I wonder if the whole country doesn’t have Seasonal Affectation Disorder. At least it is nice and sunny here.
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Not much else here, I am adjusting my brain to being a stay at home mom for a while. I should write a list of all the things I need to do this week or I will be up all night. It is funny how even thought I am not “working” anymore, I still have trouble with Sunday nights…

I have been to the doctor recently (december 5) and he sent me for blood tests. I just haven’t gone. With being sick over the holidays and whatnot, I have been lagging in lots of things I should do. I also see a dietitian every couple of weeks since early December and one of my best friends is a dietitian. The knowledge is not the problem, it is the practice. I could write my own how-to book and then not follow it.
For the Unsoliticted Advice commenter: No need to be anonymous, I would never be mean to such a kind comment. I was the picture perfect diabetic when I was pregnant – with insulin and checking my sugar 6-8 times a day everyday. My doctors were impressed and my baby was small -6.8 lbs.
Taking care of myself now, is exacerbated by my “crazy” psychiatric condition I suppose. Things are worse since the baby. Lame excuses and reasons all of them. One of the reasons I think I blog about it is to feel more accountable. I feel overwhelmed and feel like I am doing nothing write and do not know where to start sometimes.
Oh and p.s. my boss said no to part-time or job sharing of any kind. Looks like I am a real stay-at-home-mom now. I am feeling a little deflated.
Mark and I went out to dinner tonight by ourselves and talked about going to Vegas (baby) for a holiday in the next few months. That sounded nice. His parents would come here and take care of the Baby (vegas).

I was on my way to bed, but had to share with you. Ok, perhaps I need to pee first. Hang on. *elevator music*
I am drinking a lot these days. Fluids, not liquor unfortunately. I was telling myself it was a side effect of my “crazy” medication, but it could also be that my diabetes/blood sugar isn’t the way it should be and it is causing excessive thirst and tons of peeing. Aren’t you glad I shared? I have a master plan to get back on the oh-my-god-i-am-really-diabetic-stop-inhaling-carbs regime. I am just overwhelmed a bit today. I am going to go out and buy a new blood metre and get some labs done soon, I promise. Feel free to harass me about it. I don’t want to be Charlotte’s blind mom with one foot.
Bonus T.M.I.. When I am nervous or anxious, I chew my fingers, bite my hangnails. It is really unattractive. My fingers are near worn to bloody stumps at the moment. I am worrying about what to do with the impending end of maternity leave. Yes, I had a year off, yes we are lucky as fuck here in Canada. Yes, I am even luckier that we won’t starve or have to stop buying monkey kitsch or x-box games if I don’t go back to work.
I do not want to go back to work full-time. For a while I thought I wouldn’t go back at all, and recently I decided that I could manage working 1-2 days a week and still spend enough time with Charlotte to make me happy. As a family decision, staying home for the most part is the best thing for us. Since I am “crazy” and trying to manage a chronic illness I thought this would work best. Here I am justifying my choice to you (and me perhaps). I approached my boss yesterday about only coming back 2 days. He was lukewarm about it. I suggested some job sharing options as well as a different part-time solution, but I am not dusting off my power suits and pantyhose just yet. I do not deal with uncertainty well. Although, does anyone really?
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The phlegm has mostly receded for the whole family. Poor Charlotte. Don’t ever taking knowing how to blow your nose for granted. It is a gift people, A GIFT! Sick, congested baby is a sad situation indeed.

I WILL EAT YOUR LAMB PUNY HUMAN!
(p.s. look how much hair!)
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Since I told Mark tonight, I can tell you. I ordered something slutty from Fredrick’s of Hollywood to get me in the mood to perform my wifely duties. Not that snot, lack of sleep, and bloody fingers isn’t a hot hot hot horny-maker. I ordered it a month ago and it has still not arrived. Mark will have to settle for hot monkey flannel.

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Thanks to everyone for my birthday wishes. We had my best friends Janet and Michelle (with husband), over as well as my parents and BioMom. It was a very fun time and Mark got all loaded on like 4 drinks. He is a cheap date. I have a photo of me looking all goth before all my lipstick wore off. I’ll post it. I am not sincerely angsty over turning 40. I just feel like I was 19 just the other day. Know what I mean?

Me and BioMom

Mark declaring a jihad against fruitcake.

Charlotte in her “dingo snack” t-shirt from Michelle.
Ok, now I am thirsty again and need to pee. G’night!

I actually am still sick. Motherfucking virus. And so is Charlotte, which is hard. So much snot, so little a body.
I think I am experiencing post-holiday let down combined with the tsunami-blues and maternity-leave-is-almost-over-funk.
I am waiting for the dryer to finish with my new flannel nightie with monkeys on it though. 14.99 at Sears today. I also bought underwear. Briefs. Because why bother with anything flattering. Rhetorical question you see.
Blah-di-blah-blah. Maybe I will go have a rumball before bed. Perhaps I will double up on my anti crazy drugs and prepare a fun-lovin’, hyphen filled, mis-used comma entry about the holidays. With photos.
Motherfucking should be in the motherfucking Microsoft Word dictionary.