i have started documented so much via photos on flickr, that i am sometimes stumped at what to say here.
first, i want to acknowledge the unpleasantness last week. unfortunate things were said and really unfortunate things happened. i am unscathed, but not everyone was so lucky. lovely apologies were made and all is fine with jennui now. the wayward catholic in me urges forgiveness for all who harbour any ill will. i still maintain that blog people are the most wonderful people, who have enriched my life immeasurably. for that, i thank you.
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i have been a gardening fool. the last week or two has been spent either in the garden, at the gym, or in front of the tv watching season finales. should i be ashamed to admit that i feel a little lost since the tv season has ended? what do i do for the last hours before i go to sleep? there is only so much i can read. i need the pure detachment of television. i was going to apologize for my addiction, but dude, i need it. I NEED IT MAN. GIVE ME A FIX. what can i watch? thankfully i think they still run Clean Sweep and What Not to Wear in the summer. i keep taping C.S.I reruns. i am desperate here people.
my garden is coming along nicely. i will post photos. my plants are all still a little wee, but it looks good before the weeds take over again. my war against quack will have to wait until the fall so as not to disturb my planties. the whole metric assload is almost in the ground. just a few more to go.
charlotte is lovely and now give me a kiss on the lips when i ask. her lips just touch mine, there is no pucker, but it touches me to my very soul. i melt when she smooches me, lack of actual smooch or not. she also says “no no no no no no nooooo no noooo”. pretty much indiscriminately, but also when appropriate. action: we remove her from hanging over the couch and dangling close to head bonking danger. reaction: “no no no no no noooooooo nono nono”. etc. she also dances to certain music. there was something on the radio the other night by the J. Giles band (we were listening to that station that plays “anything” because my mom was over), that she fancied. she also likes the theme from Sesame Street. it is freakin’ cute and if you saw it and didn’t think so, then you are DEAD INSIDE. also, i admit, dressing a girl is way fun. there i said it.
i am a wee anxious tonight for some reason. too much in my brain. i was hoping that a bit of a blog purge would help. my leg is all jumpy and my throat is tight. why can’t it all just go away. i am DOING everything i am supposed to be DOING, why can’t my brain be the same? just do your job, damned brain.
working at the gym daycare is awesome. it is almost like a paid moms group. i recommend it for anyone in my situation. fabulous women, cute kids. lots of mock value at times, with silly names and goofy things those darned kids do and say. i am liking it a lot. i only work one, maybe 2 four hour shifts right now. i suspect i might be talking more about anxiety if i worked a lot more. the woman who runs the daycare is the loveliest person ever. she is my new best friend. i am feeling lucky and happy, with a wee bit of insanity nagging over my shoulder. thanks to everyone for email and support. i will respond, soonish. right now the dryer is almost done.
Jen

The Mahogany video. Slipped my mind.
Why are you (me) all tired on the couch watching Amber Frey, Witness for the Prosecution*, and then when you go to bed, you lie there thinking about your primulas and pansies and do you have milk and can we make it to the gym before lunch tomorrow? Then you (also me) decide to go downstairs (without your (my) glasses, bear in mind) and see if anything is happenin’ in bloggyland** that you have missed. I am going to try and go to bed now before i do an search on ebay for monkey clothes 18-24 months. It better not rain tomorrow I have a metric ASSLOAD of plants to plant already!

Heuchera hybrid ‘Plum Pudding’ (ok, i have planted this one)
*that you DVR’d even
**totally gaybo, sorry

i am takin’ a break. never meant to hurt people.
jennifer@jennui.com

i am a little stoned on some sleeping pill that my shrink gave me. strangely, it makes me feel all lucid and clear and motivated to clean my bedroom. odder still, is that if i lay down in bed i would fall asleep in like 2 minutes. which is about 1:58 shorter than usual.
2 things 2 things before i go to sleep.
i asked the pharmacist if i could take ibuprofen for menstrual cramps whilst on the lithium. she looked in her big compendium book whose name escapes me now while i am stoned. she says that ibuprofen intensifies the effects of the lithium. lithium. a mood stabalizer. so, if i pop a couple of advil when i am crampy i will feel really really stable. my mood will just be a straight line. ha! i took the freakin’ ibupofren and felt no ill effects, just the benefits of less crampiness.
also. one of the side effects of the dexedrine, which i am on for my ADD (yes, i am crazy, yes, i take lots of drugs, yes, i am working this out, no, i am not just taking my doctor’s word for everything). anyhow, the dexedrine has a warning on the monograph that i may have a “false sense of well-being”. “Well i feel pretty good, but i cannot decide if its real or not.” Maybe I will buy myself flowers because I am having such a good day, BUT WHAT IF I AM NOT!? What if I should really be buying some black rotting flowers and delivering them to my grade 12 english teacher. what of THAT?
i am managing the drugs ok so far. i feel ok. (or do i?) the side effects like the trembling seem to be going away and i really do just feel fine. i am looking for a good bipolar book to read. something with a co-morbidty with ADD thrown in would be nice.
do i sound totally blotto?
oh, and i am working part-time at the daycare at the gym i joined. making 5 cents an hour, but lovely LOVELY ladies and i can bring charlotte and watch her “socialize” with other people’s spawn.
i dug in the garden a lot last week. still have the fatwah against the quack grass. digging digging. that damn daisy went to seed and spread everywhere! i find it very satisfying. anyone nearby in the PM wanna come over? i am tethered to the house by the poopsmith’s nap. there is some newish stuff on flickr. too lazy to link it.
loves ya
and good on you! who made the cake below. it is a really really really good cake. moist, delicious. LOVELY!

it is probably too late to make this for your mom or mom equivilent today, but make this cake! it is the recipe i am asked for the most often.
chocolate oatmeal cake (it has fibre!)
1/2 cup rolled oats *
1/2 cup butter *
4 tablespoons cocoa *
1 1/4 cups of brown sugar *
1 cup boiling water
2 eggs
1 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
Place all * ingredients in a bowl – pour boiling water over them – stir until dissolved. beat eggs with a fork in a small bowl – mix ‘em into the chocolatey mixture – add vanilla.
mix dry ingredients in with the wet stuff. mix until incorporated. pour into a 9×9 square pan and bake at 350 F for 30-35 minutes.
i don’t ice this cake, its pretty tasty without, but sometimes i sprinkle some mini chocolate chips on the top for some extra ooompf.

don’t you wish more people updated on the weekends? at least a few of ya put some stuff on flickr for me.
i know. pot. kettle.