wasn’t the ADD medication supposed to help me focus? my brain feels all over the place. as Julia said, when i am away from posting for a while i feel this weird performance anxiety. i wonder what i ever wrote about on here to being with. why did i start a blog again? i am reading your blogs people, at least know that. sometimes all the blog reading and emails and instant messages clog my frontal lobe and i feel incapable of writing anything of much substance. this, my friends, is where we get a list. mrs. kennedy was right when she said that paragraphs are for pussies.

i talked to mrs. dayment for like an hour on the phone today and you didn’t.
i am sitting here with an icepack on my back and i want to go lie down and watch some tv and have my diet orange crush.
next time on jennui….. when i work at the daycare, charlotte is attached to my leg like a remora. this is getting worse, not better. what should i do?
and check out this vest i bought charlotte for fall:

cute!
11:24pm. edited to say: i am just now watching the hurricane footage. i am so so so sorry for everyone effected by this. it is horrifying. i was sobbing when they were interviewing a woman who was looking for her children. (why i don’t watch “bad” news as much anymore)

in lieu of a real post…
flickr has some things i recently flicked.

wow, that nap i took this afternoon really helped. helped me not sleep tonight. i guess i should just live like a zombie, because napping just doesn’t jive with my sleep patterns. man. and none of you bastards are on IM or posting on your blog or putting up flickr photos. why ARE YOU SLEEPING?
i want a donut. a donut might help.

i just scanned and uploaded photos to flickr and now i don’t feel like writing (dude, i think i have sleeping sickness i am always so tired!). but i will tell you that today is my 8 year wedding anniversary as well as the 3rd year i have been keeping this here fblog. both have been incredibly rewarding in different, yet occasionally similar ways. both have enriched my personal life and growth immeasurably, and both have been better than i ever though possible. the wedding was more expensive, but i got new dishes.
so you lurkey-loos without a blog, go start one! you know you want to! i am living proof you don’t have to be witty, smart, interesting or funny. martha and i agree, its a good thing.
to mark, thanks for letting me pick you up after getting drunk. i know i have had the blog a long time when i cannot remember if i have told the story of how mark and i hooked up (hooked up is a nice modern term, showing i am hip and cool to today’s lingo). i will have to check my own archives for evidence.
bloggy people – thanks for reading, chatting, meeting, emailing, mailing me cool stuff, and picking me up at the airport.

i know, catholic wedding eh? and it looks like no one was at our wedding – did i block something out, or was everyone on the other side of the church?
more flickr photos here

yeah. so just break them all.

hi!
i love clothes. so there. and i have been contacted by Kim Hall a grad student in the MA program Design for Textile Futures at Central Saint Martins in London. i offered to link her research questionaire on the blargh. she is lovely! help her out.
—– snip——–>
I’m looking for a few good women (ok, a lot of them) to fill out a simple questionnaire (… or two) to inform some research I’m doing for my masters’ thesis. My project will be concerned with clothing and dress habits, intimacy and control issues, and the relationship between maker and wearer. I am a grad student in the MA program Design for Textile Futures at Central Saint Martins in London. I make clothes and accessories that are interactive, involving handcrafting and high-tech.
I hope the questions don’t seem TOO weird….feel free to pass it on if you know anyone else who might be interested and willing.
the questionnaires are here:
www.nottene.net/research.html
and you can see some of my first year work here:
www.nottene.net
Thanks for your time!!!
best–
kim
——— snip

i am pretty sure that maria shiver and arnold schwartzenegger are brother and sister and they seem to manage pretty well. *snort*
i am tired, but. my aunt is home for now, the radiation has decreased the inflammation in her head and she is no longer on morphine. we don’t know much more yet. i am waiting for someone to call me when there is news. thank you guys so much for all your kind words. it helps to tell the internets you are sad. it just does. i know a lot of you have had people in your life with cancer and other illnesses and can relate.
i waited 2 hours again (seriously) for my psychiatrist again today. i got some new prescriptions. mark took the afternoon off so i could go and not worry about having a sitter. i told the doc about the waiting and being pissed off and unable to manage it. she told me they are working on improving it. “they” being her and her secretary. she is in private practice, so she has no colleagues to be responsible to. just us nutjobs. i do LIKE her, but the waiting. i figured it out more carefully and i have been seeing her for 7 years. that’s a lot of file to copy over to a new doctor. we will see. i will probably ask my general practitioner doctor for a new referral when i see her again in a month or so. lots of work and doctors to be crazy and diabetic and such. i am so high maintenance.
there was a talky talky nutty guy in my doctor’s office today that kept trying to engage others in the waiting room (4-5 at a time) in conversation. i was so glad for my new shuffle so i could pretend not to hear, but keep the volume low enough to hear what he was on about. mostly he was talking about how late appointments were running. i diagnosis him as borderline personality disorder – no boundaries. five cents please.
standing play date tomorrow morning with my friend klara who i haven’t seen in a month. her son liam is betrothed to charlotte.
still no gym. i bet that would help me feel better. it is hard to fit it all in sometimes. ooooo excuse so lame. i thought i would have so much free time when i became a stayathomemom. ha.
a few new photos on flickr from yesterday.

so my aunt has cancer. it is bad. we thought might be ok since it took so long to hear any details. they found cancer in several places that they biopsied and they don’t know the primary source. she is currently in the hospital for emergency radiation. i was there today. they will know more soon. she has 2 more days of radiation. i am worried and sad and scared. i brought her magazines and chocolate today. she asked for licorice allsorts, so i bought some tonight and made muffins for my uncle and cousin. i feel all scattered and sad. i will go back tomorrow, i got a sitter to stay with char.
it also looks like i gave Charity’s daughter Theya roseola. rather charlotte did. they came over on thursday (for a lovely visit) and charlotte had been feeling funky since her immunizations on tuesday. she had a fever and had been cranky, but i thought it was her shots and her molars, since she was chewing her hand. she started getting a bit of a rash on her face on friday, but she sometimes gets a spotty face from food. she has sensitive skin and when most foods get on her face (so, all the time) she gets this tiny red rash. it goes away. on saturday is was more pronounced and i figured i would call the doc monday morning if it hadn’t resolved itself. we just bought some new baby body shampoo for charlotte so i thought it was probably that. the rash is much better today, so i was going to wait and see tomorrow. then i read chair’s blog and see that poor theya seems to have the same thing. i feel like a moron. i should have been more careful. when charlotte had the fever i should have said no visitors for a few days or something. i really should have been more conscientious. ugh. i feel awful about it.
what a shitty fucking week.
and i made another psychiatrist appointment for tuesday at 1:30pm. mark is taking the afternoon off. i spoke with her secretary and she said that they had a meeting about the lateness issue and things “should change”. i am not sure what i am going to do yet. i will renew my prescriptions and talk to my doctor and then decide. aside from the lateness i do like her. i appreciate all the feedback on this. i haven’t made a decision one way or another yet.

you know the worst part of feeding the cat fancy feast? it’s keeping that fucking crystal dish clean all the time.

yeah, uh, can’t sleep.
new inappropriate object of errr, naughty thoughts is topher grace. he was at least born in the 70s. i just watched p.s. which i recommend.
some flowery crap on flickr for ya

charlotte has been a bit of a wreck since her immunizations. she continued to wake up last night and was then up from 4-8am. she slept for a few hours and was back up for the day. i think it was a combo of her teeth and the immunizations. she has been feverish and cranky and won’t eat or drink. finally at around 7:30 tonight she seemed back to normal. i can’t say the same for me.
my mom came to baby sit today so i could see my psychiatrist. you know, for a “break”. my shrink was running 2+ hours behind and i eventually just had to go back home do my mom could leave. we didn’t talk at all. i have no prescription refills, nothing. i have been seeing this doctor for about 6 years. she has always run behind, i usually wait about 1+ hours, but recently it has been more like 2 and some. while i realize i do not pay out of pocket to see a psychiatrist, is it unreasonable to think that a 2 hour wait is unreasonable? i like this doctor. i wanted to see a female psychiatrist and my old general practitioner referred me. i have already put so much time and work into this therapeutic relationship and have been hesitant to forge a new one. but motherfucker. had i stayed to see her today, i would have left the house at 3pm, for a 3:30 appointment, and finally gotten into see her by about 6pm. routinely, this is how she runs. i don’t see her frequently, but going to see her means i lose about half a day. if she was on time today, i could have seen her, renewed some prescriptions, bought a few groceries, and picked up the wasp killer for the nest behind the backdoor. i find it hard to believe that this type of tardy appointment keeping is the norm amongst city psychiatrists. but the thought of telling my “story” to a whole new person is daunting. maybe i should write out an executive summary first. i am going to call her office tomorrow and see if getting an appointment first thing in the morning helps. from the other 6 patients i was waiting with at 4 o’clock this afternoon, i hear that doesn’t always help. one can try.
i am going to watch a bit o’ tv and go to sleep.