i know i promised i would update with photos and commentaries and shit, but c’mon. you know i am the queen of empty promises.
i am completely over stimulated and if i was a toddler my mama would me telling me to nap. yet i cannot sleep yet for some reason. i can’t even get reasonably seasoned with alchohol because it seems i don’t stop blabbling for long enough periods to put liquid in my mouth and swallow it. seriously. i need to shut the fuck up a bit. i am not setting a good example of being a reserved canadian.
there are photos, none of mine yet though. i do not have the wherewithall tonight to download 130, delete 127 and post them to flickr. BUT if you go to flick and put blogher06 as a search term you will get an eyeful of bloghering goodness.
point of order. the hotel rooms are kinda’ icky. like right now, i feel like a hooker waiting for my john to put the money on the table so i can leave. i got extra sheets from housekeeping to cover the matress and such because i am turning into howard hughes. i haven’t taken off my flip flops or shoes since i have been in my room except to shower or sleep. wow, i really am getting germaphobic. but i am sure if you asked other attendees you would get agreement on this.
i have met an assload of fabulous broads that i have been lusting wanting to meet forever. like helenjane and leah from agirlandboy. check my links for links i am too lazy tonight, or rather this morning. so many great women. wow.
ok, big day tomorrow.
wish you were here.
xo

Jennifer’s already discussed some of the Vegas trip, but some of you wanted to hear about poker.
The Bacon Bringer wants to apologize in advance to those of you who have never watched/seen No Limit Texas Hold’Em on television. I’ll try to keep the lingo down to a minimum.
The room was very well air-conditioned; even though I had worn a simple T-shirt over to the place … I needed an additional coat/sweater in the tournament room, especially when the room started to empty out at 11 pm. I wore my Oilers jersey so that anyone who was looking for me could pick me out of the crowd!
I didn’t last long in my “main event”, last Friday’s $2000 No Limit Hold’Em event. 1600 players, first prize of $660,000. I fought for a couple of pots and went as high as T$2300 in Level 1. I spent a long time chatting with Michael Gracz: he’s a pro from Raleigh, won a mere $2.1 million last year and a WSOP bracelet … he went to Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final (that the infidels from Carolina won) and said the Oilers’ fans were extremely well-behaved. Maybe he’s used to American football fans or something. Michael showed up late at our table. We had *four* empty spots at our table for the first 20 minutes, and I suspected some of the HORSE event players may have been at our table because they were up playing until 9 am that morning. Jennifer Tilly was playing at the table beside us. In spite of Jennifer’s explicit instructions, I didn’t touch her breasts.
Anyway, our table was due to be broken by the end of Level 2 … I’d lost a couple of pots and was down to $1600 and I was mentally preparing to be moved to another table when I looked down under the gun (first to act after the big blind) to see pocket Aces. “Hello, my precious!” I raised to T$200 (which was my standard raise) and got one caller three down from me, another weak-tight player like myself who was not contesting many hands. I felt pretty good when the flop came KT4 rainbow (all of different suits). So, I raised T$300, expecting him to tell me where I stood. He called. Hmmph. Then a jack appeared on the turn. I really wanted him to tell me how screwed I was, but betting at this point would have pot-committed me, so I checked like a donkey. He bet T$500. The “f-bomb” rule was in effect (uttering the “f” word gives you a 10-minute sit down in the penalty box away from the table), so I cursed to myself for 20 seconds as I thought about all of the danger that I was in. However, I couldn’t convince myself of the fact that he would have called a raise and a post-flop T$300 bet with just a pair unless it was top pair, except maybe AK or KQ. Two pair or a set, he wouldn’t have played that way; he didn’t seem even remotely tricky on previous hands, but that wasn’t to say he didn’t have it in his arsenal. And there was no way he’d call T$300 on a gutshot straight draw, so I ruled out AQ. So, after convincing myself he had AK (top pair), KQ (top pair and an OESD), KJ (hitting two pair on the turn) or a less likely flopped two pair or set (which I’d have to hit my A or Q to get out of, for 5 outs), I calculated it was worth it to risk my last T$1100 to get T$3200 or T$0. (Calling wasn’t an option, and folding felt too weak-tight.) I pushed all-in and crossed my fingers. Imagine my surprise when he turned over AQ. He’d hit his gut-shot straight draw on the turn. “What the …” was what I thought to myself. No queen fell on the river (which would’ve split the pot), and I was walking out of the tournament hall. 1 hour and 40 minutes, and I’m staring at the souvenir shop.
So, how did I spend two days playing poker? Well, they had a single-table satellite area off in one corner. I had some spare cash and I started playing lowest-limit single-table tournaments (STTs). The line I joined had $125 and $175 STTs, awarding two $500 tournament entry chips and $120 in cash, or 3 $500 tournament entry chips and $120 in cash respectively. (Note that for ten players, this meant that the casino took $130 for organizing the tournament!) Usually, the entire prize fund goes to the winner, but most people were happy to split prize money when we got to 3 players, as we shall see later in the story.
After moping a bit with my friend who went with me (and who had also been wiped out on pocket aces about 20 minutes before me), eating some lunch, we went back to the tournament hall ready to kick butt.
I ended up playing 3 $175 STTs the first day, and managed to go completely card-dead in the first one (I think I played my second hand post-flop with only T$400 in chips left!!). No soup for The Bacon Bringer in the first one. I made fifth place in the second one … slightly less card-dead, but my KJ all-in push was caught by AJ. Ooops. The last STT of the day was interesting. I was up against an Internet pro in seat 3 (who plays 9 hours a day on Pokerstars, and multitables $60-$100 SnGs), and another amateur like yours truly in seat 7 who was playing *really* weak-tight. Believe it or not, I seemed like the most aggressive one at the table when we were down to 4 players. I knocked out the fourth place finisher and I had a stack of T$4000. The Pokerstars pro had T$3300 and the weak-tight player had $2700. We split the chips: one each. The T$2700 player tipped the dealer $60, and I took the cash. Not necessarily the best deal for me, but it meant I finished the day up $95 ($620-$525) from STTs, so I was happy. The final table of the $50000 HORSE event was just starting, but there were about 500 people standing around watching it, so it was hard to even see the monitors above the final table, let alone the players. We went back to the hotel, in need of some sleep. I think I fell asleep in about five minutes after hitting the pillow. (Jennifer was already asleep.)
Confident and a little better rested, I went back to play more STTs on Saturday, intending on only playing STTs. I took a beating in the first tournament, and ended up sitting beside one of the Senior’s Event cashers (cashed $15000 out of 1000 entrants) in the second STT for $125. Didn’t really expect to cash in that one … but he got cracked in fourth place and the guy with the big chip stack took a chip and cash, and I paid out third place (gave him $200) to take the other chip. It was 4:30 pm in the afternoon, and I looked at my watch realizing that the $540 “second-chance” tournament started at 5:00 pm. The chip was burning a hole in my hand. All I needed to do was come up with $40 cash, and I would be playing another multi-table tournament (MTT) in 30 minutes. My friend had already bought in, so I thought “what the hell?” I might as well try another MTT. I doubled up early when I hit a set versus someone who was pushing too hard with a single-pair big slick (that is Ace King). We were down to 56 of the original 122 players when the player in seat 9 raised to T$600, seat 10 re-raised to T$1400, and I looked down and saw pocket kings. I had T$3200 at that point (I had started with T$1500), and seat 10 had been really fortunate getting pocket aces twice in the last fifteen minutes. He was aggressive and could have easily had big slick in that situation. I pushed all-in to isolate Seat 10, and discovered Seat 10 hit his third pocket aces in fifteen minutes. “Thanks for coming out!” I ate a $4 slice of pizza from the Poker Kitchen (in comparison to some of the prices in Vegas, that was a steal) and waited around for my friend, who just missed out on cashing in that tournament.
We both went back to the STT line. I got blown out of my first $125, it’s not really even worth writing about.
In my last STT, I finished in fourth … knowing that everyone was interested in chopping, but waiting for someone to go out, the big stack raised, and I looked down with my T$1700 and saw pocket deuces. I said “this is probably the worst move I can make, but … all-in!” The big stack turned over pocket kings, and I “quacked” in fourth (pocket deuces are also known as ducks). But … get this: With over T$6500 in chips, the big stack took one chip only, the T$2800 player took one chip, and they gave the T$800 player the $120 in cash. I was amazed that the big stack even proposed that sort of deal for himself. I guess he felt really weak and fortunate to get there … I’m still kicking myself for not waiting for the T$800 player to crack. (As I found out afterwards, he might have gone all in himself on that hand … he had pocket tens, but he thought he’d rather wait for me to go out! Double d’oh! My statement about “the worst move I could make” was completely true!)
It was 11 pm and we went to pick up some Chinese food before heading back to the hotel at midnight. That was the end of the cash I had brought with me … so, I was done with the WSOP for 2006. Spent the Sunday shopping with Jennifer and our friends. But I am going back to the WSOP again next year, if I can afford to rebuild my bankroll by then! It was an absolute blast and I’m hoping that it won’t be as hot as Hades next year!

i just burned myself ironing something i am bringing to blogher. ironing. sheesh.
apologies if i owe you an email. or a phone call. i will have my laptop with me and my room at blogher is under my name, so call me. or email me your cell number.
back to back travelling is not for the mentally insane. AHHHH!
xo
www.blogher.org
p.s. if you see me, harass me. i am afraid i will be in a fog of fear and joy (yes, at the same time). beware, i am known to bother people unknowingly as well.
peace to all y’all, attending or not. blogher is great, but it is the blog community i love. specifically the women. i mean i love you guys, but well, ok, stop talking now.
p.p.s. i leave tomorrow at the crack, thus the crazy entry tonight when i should be sleeping.

i just set up the cruel futon in the basement. it is the coolest place in the house. no AC here baby.
this is for the valet in Vegas who told me he didn’t think it got hot in “Canada”, because you know, in a country with a larger land mass than the U.S.A. we have the same climate everywhere. notice i also converted from metric for the cavepeople. thankfully it looks to be cooling off this week.
i am finally posting vegas trip photos on flickr.

in reverse polish notation order. this is a shot from the Bellagio.

we are back. i leave for BlogHer next Wednesday. Vegas was great, with the exception of some stomach troubles our last night. good thing there are bathrooms all over the place and our cab driver was trying out for NASCAR.
i won $2.80 at a slot machine, which pretty much sums up our winnings. we had a great time though.

view from our room on the 16th floor

it is hot here. HOT.
lethal weapon 2 in on the tv and i am supposed to be getting dressed and ready for the day of oppresive heat and shopping and more heat and naked showgirls!
mark is doing ok poker wise. he is about 100 bucks above even. i lost 5 at the slots and even more at the spa and the mall. damn you america and your fabulous consumer goods!
i forgot the cord for the camera, but i haven’t taken many shots anyhow. too heavy and hot to carry around gigantic purse with insulin, drugs, wallet, lipstick and camera.
i had some sort of head massage yesterday that involved a lot of warm oil scented with ginger, which was nice. now my hair looks like a greasy junior high nerds but i smell lovely. even after several shampooooos.
ok, going to get dressed now and do something with the lank hair. a little more shopping today and some nudity tonight. add in a couple cocktails and what more could you possibly want??

not quite packed yet, flight leaves at 7am. will post from the road. wish us luck in vegas (baby). 42C/105F for the love of god. i might melt. seriously.
xo
jen

I am trying to get inspired to write a blog post by watching the teevee. I am watching something about celebrity friendships. Summer television sucks donks. I am waiting for mark to come down so we can watch entourage together. It is a first run show! Hurrah! Good botox! What has Nicole Kidman done to her face? She looks kinda’ weird. You know, is there a comfortable way to use a laptop? I always feel kinda’ cramped or humped over. Not to complain, I love my wee notebook. I am still looking for that anarchy sticker to put on it though.
So this week, I work at the day care, Monday and Tuesday morning and we leave for vegas at the crack on Thursday where mark plays in the world series of poker on Friday. Hopefully on Saturday we will be cruising louis vuitton and tiffanys for some bling things. Perhaps at least I can hit sephora and buy some new lipgloss. A girl can never have too much lip goop. It is going to be mofo hot in vegas, it might melt my fleshy arctic bod. I will have the laptop and 10 dollar a day internet at the bellagio.
You know, few celebs pick my ass like p. Diddy or whatever. He is sooo annoying. I mean what does he DO? Apart from the clothes and producing? I guess thats enough. Oooo ashton kutcher is also on notice for being an annoying motherfucker. Why am I watching this? HEY THIS IS MY BLACK FRIEND PUFFY. Jamie foxx also needs a punch in the neck. And sofia coppola always look so irritated. Don’t bother me, I am a talented genius. Something also bothers me about lance armstrong. I mean, I don’t want to not like him, he had *whispering* cancer. But those freaking yellow bracelets and well, I am not sure, but like sand under my contact lens man.
Okay, done with Entourage. Now what to watch? ABBA in concert? Wet t-shirt pay per view? Thank goodness I have a Newsradio on the recorder. David Cross guest stars. Dave Foley was so young and cute! It was a great show. Poor Phil Hartman.
So… Vegas. I am guessing it will be too hot to walk the strip and mock the ‘hos and wackjobs. I don’t want my shoes to melt. Mark’s boss and his wife are going to be there too, so boss wife and I will do a half day at the spa and some shopping and maybe the pool if it isn’t too hot for that. Boss’s wife seems fabulous, so that is nice. I think air conditioning will be our friend. I hope to get some photos of mark playing at a poker table. I guess it is ok unless I use a flash.
So, best entry ever right? i haven’t even taken any photos in the last week.
latest BloHer post here.