That is me, hocking up the bitterness and spitting it out as per my spouse’s suggestion. The in-laws have been here a little over a week and as is want to happen, certain thing wrankle my shackles.
The child is exactly and precisely like the husband at this age. She looks, acts, eats, moves, and is developing in the same manner. There is not one iota of my DNA that shows up when you are around here.
If it’s not British its crap. Or the British have done IT first or continue to do IT better. Tanquer*y is the best motherfucking gin EVER and don’t even think of drinking another brand.
No information is new information. All information has previously been heard or known about and not you nor a newspaper nor an entire encyclopedia could possibly shed any light on any topic.
This way is the best possible way to do any possible task. There are no alternatives to this method. This method has been used for 65 years and nothing has proven any better than THIS particular way.
We will continue to keep our toothbrushes on your bathroom counter with your paste and soap, despite the handy baskets provided in guest room. Baskets with HANDLES for carrying toiletries to and fro.
Charlotte watched too much tv, you watch too much TV, and if it is not PB*S it is not worth wasting your time. In fact, there should be a 24 hour Masterpiece Theatre channel. Alistair C00ke is a god. There can never ever be too many shows about Elizabeth the First. What? You don’t know who succeeded her and every other ruling leader of England from 1489 to the present? Wah?
Ok, I should stop. I should tell you that my in-laws are incredibly generous in time, spirit, and material items. They love Charlotte and are very helpful in her care making the fact they are here a week too long bearable. They are currently at my parent’s home helping put up new baseboards. My father in-law makes the best gin and tonic EVER. My mother in-law is a great cook and can make my kitchen sparkle like nobodies business. I love them and am glad they came to help celebrate the holidays and my birthday with us (Sunday! mark your calendars).
What bothers you most about house guests and what would you get me for my birthday if you lived next door?
some photos up on flickr
My Mommy
I got asked for photo ID at the liquor store 2 days ago. The drinking age here is 18, I will be 37 *gasp* in a week. EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT WOOO! I asked him if he was kidding, but he was not. Wow. Beat that!
I think I am officially overwhelmed. I thought my in-laws got here on Thursday, but it is Wednesday night. At least I have all of Wednesday to autoclave the last of the house.
Saturday my parents were here and could sense my palpable anxiety and helped us move new guest bed, set up new guest bed, hang curtain rods, hem curtains, sell crib at consignment store, go to Goodwill, and more or less ignore the toddler in our midst. There are things I won’t get done that I wanted to get done, but my in-laws are nice people, I should get my head out of my ass. They would probably be more than willing to hang a blind, or install drapery tie backs. I wanted to bake at least three things 1) whipped shortbread, 2) chocolate death tarts and 3) rum balls. It is unlikely I will get to that. The closet situation has proven the most challenging. As of today I have gotten rid of four large garbage bags full of clothes and 2 boxes full of household items. Someone is going to hit the mother load of nice, barely warn fat chick clothes.
Yes, we did put Charlotte into the BigGirlBed. We sort of had to. Things were in motion and beds were installed and anyway, it was a week last night. Nighttime has not been too bad; some nights she is up several times and just needs to be put back into bed. In fact last night she fell out! I heard her and waited for a cry, she did whine a bit, but got right back in bed and back to sleep. Naptimes are a bit more trying. In the crib, she had no choice but to relax, clam down and realize she needed a sleep. In her bed, the world is her pillow and she can roam and throw things and read every book and play with every doll and whine and complain. Today, she did sleep for about an hour, which is a good sign. I know my Mom is telling me that she perhaps does not need a nap, but I think she does. If she does not have an afternoon nap are cranky. I want to make sure she associates bedtime with a nice experience and not mommy screaming STAY IN YOUR BED AND RELAX YOU LITTLE FUCKER! Ahem.
I think she shopping is all done. I need to keep better track of what and who I buy for so I don’t end up with too much for one person and a candy cane for my bestest friends.
Tomorrow I am going to the Mall early with my friend Klara and Charlotte’s boyfriend Liam. We are going to make an attempt at Santa. Liam said he would tell Charlotte that Santa is nice and she needn’t be afraid. Liam is about a year older than Char and cute and precocious as a button.
God, the basement is such a freakin’ mess. Oh well, two more days! I am off to watch my stories on teevee. Christmas cards are also going to become New Year cards.
I have totally forgot to pimp my fellow Canadian Karen Rani, who is up for best parenting blog. BlogHer is also up for Best Online Community. Woo! I think you have a few more hours to vote. I am so slack. ALSO, Schmutzie is up for best Canadian blog.
Also, give me advice below. Tonight’s experiment in BigGirlBed didn’t go very well. She was too excited I think. Why can’t she just sleep in the bed and potty train herself? Why? She can use all the palettes and tools in MS Paint, you would think she could master anything!
I am off to bed now.
UPDATE: Seriously. The bed is in the room and I am mildly freaking out. Help a girl out.
We have really been down and dirty in the preparations and reparations of painting 3 rooms, a new toilet, 2 new beds, and just general messytude. There are clothes everywhere because I had to empty my closet(s) so that they could be painted. I don’t know where I am going to put everything since Charlotte’s “big girl room” was where I kept some of my extra stuff. I did give away three large garbage bags of clothing to the Goodwill today, but it wasn’t enough to make a huge dent. I am a huge participant in that good old sin of gluttony when it comes to clothes and shoes.
Charlotte and I also both had a wee cold last week. Just snot and a cough, but still so ANNOYING. This has been the sickest couple months of my entire life. I am still coughing up goo.
We finally got the tree (etc) up last night. Now we have to be ever vigilant not to let Charlotte play with the “toys”. She really wants the glass and sparkly strawberry on the top because “strawberries are DELICIOUS!”.
While I have you. We are moving Charlotte into her new room with a regular double bed. Any suggestions on making the transition as easy as possible? On Mark and I, I mean. OH OH! And we had our first taking off of diaper and play with fecal matter incident. Is this a sign that she is getting more eager to be toilet trained or just evil?
Thanks!
i was going to write a blog post about how much good BlogHer is doing. As a network, we have raised over 10, 000 for Doctor’s Without Borders. BUT, check out Mothergoosemouse, for a much better post than what I was going to write. GO READ IT.
p.s. I am up, or have been up since 6:30. Damned cats. I am going back to snuggle with Mark now.
p.p.s i am hoping we will finally get the tree up this weekend. we have a crapload of things to do before Mark’s parent come for TWO WEEKS, arriving on the 20th.
xo
I am in the middle of drafting my complaint to the FCC about the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show which was on tonight.
Dear FCC monkeys,
There needs to be more ass in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
Love Jen.
p.s. you don’t care because I am Canadian, but I am just sayin’.
I can’t think of anything else. Anyone?