First it is all the waiting for the shuttle, then the checking in and being violated by a scary female customs lady. Then my baggage is too heavy, but oooookay. Now I am nursing an iced tea thing at some Starbucks in Chicago, Terminal too. My right thumb is really sore from plying open pistachio nuts on that drunken Friday night. It is seriously throbbing. All of a sudden my tiny laptop’s tiny keyboard seems so TINY.
I am hungry, but all i can think about are the crab cakes from that cocktail party on Thursday night. I want crab cakes! So, yeah, Blogher. Different than the other two in lots of ways. I felt all seasoned and able to talk to people withut having to cry in the bathroom. I did miss some sessions on Saturday because of the gin flu. The venues were beautiful and fantastic and it is hard to complain about having to be shuttled around or walking places to be where you needed to be. I love walking,Chicago is beautiful (this font is TINY). The bummer for me is my painful plantar facscitis. I am actually getting an orthotic made for me because i am OLD. Anyhow, the only comfortable shoes for me right now are my crocs but I DO NOT leave the house in those alone the country. Bal blah blah, my heel hurts.
This, for me was the best BlogHer. I missed a lot of my but made some new fantastic ones. The atmosphere seemed more relaxed and less junior high sleep over when Paula calls Susan a bitch who then tells Paula’s friend Stella and now Susan hates Paula and Stella is a bitch for even saying anything. Plus there were w few hot guys there – Leah’s dude Simon from agirlandaboy (lookit up. im lazy) and HelenJane’s James. They provided some lovely male company amongst all the boobies.
I will write another post about blogher, but my battery is running out and i am hungry. This year I say fuck the haters and I am going to detail how fabulous it was and how you should come next year, and if you were at home thinking we are all cliquey bitches then fuck you. I still love you though.
xoxo

In Chicago, up since 4am. First underwear change of the day. Also, forgot pajamas.

On Alpha+Mom. FYI, I Love Isabel Kallman and Leah Peterson.
View my interview HERE. No autographs please. Hugs are welcome.

thanks Mocha Mama you hot cafe a lait you!
10 seconds or less. Umm, until I was a teenager, I though kidney beans came from some tiny animal and wouldn’t eat them. I am oversensitive, anxious, funny, loyal, and would probably love you. I watch Sex and the City reruns almost every night even though I have seen them all. I don’t love the show, but I still watch. I am also a crazy cat lady.

buy unique gifts at http://www.zazzle.com/jennuia

kittiez touchin’ yer b00bies!!!
Zazzle ships to CANADA! weeeeeeeeeeeee

lol b00bies and kitties! What more could you ask for?? The lovely Helen Jane did the artwork and uploadin’, I just came of with the concept. I am the idea man woman.
We are hoping to get them in time for blogher!
ORDER YOURS TODAY!!

As low as about 10 bucks!!
Love Helen Jane and Jen
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
p.s. maybe the universe is trying to tell me i am supposed to go to bed at 4am. You would think that the universe would then put some better fucking tv on at 4 am.

I know there are people who this advertising on blogs is selling out, jumping the shark, working for THE Man. BUT, My ad revenue (which is not huge) pays for my hosting and domain service and helps out with little things like more RAM, and a newer version of Photoshop (I was using 6.0, seriously).
Anyhow, if you feel inclined, click the Tex-Ad Links on the side. I can promise you they have been very good to me, they are very nice and I get a nice tidy sum at the end of the month. They are very reliable and nice. I would never recommend crap to my friends, that would be wrong! Anyhow, if you sign up with them, tell them I was your referrer and I can a few bucks. Chicago is becoming more of a financial suck that we had thought. Anyhow, do or do not, there is not try. I know other people (nice people) who use them as well.
I am a slut, I admit it.
I am up late making up CD’s to put on my laptop because my iPod is illin’. Stupid itunes and their restrictions and RULES. THEY are the man. Yet convenient.
You know I love you baby, I would never hurt you. (insert cheesy 80’s love ballad, which I am probably burning right now). I apologize in advance to my blogher roommate Ariel for the wacky music. Right now I am concentrating on not snoring. Those breathe right strips seem to work okay. When Erin and Mark and I were in Vegas, we all used them! ha! Separate beds of course. I wont say who slept with whom.
Oh, byt the way, almost 4am, not sleeping. I RULE!

I love my new bag so much, I had to tell you guys about it. I wanted something lightweight for carrying around the laptop, camera, drink, pens, business cards, insulin, etc. I bought this one:

http://www.lugtravel.com/product/CAMPER in orange. It is fantastic.

Cross posted on blogher, make sure you go there and read all the goodness over there too.

The other night in bed, I turned to Mark (the spouse) and said, remind me that my next blogher post will be about shopping. I was referring to the superiority of selection in the States compared to Canada.
Tonight we went to West Edmonton Mall, the world’s largest mall, for now, is in my hometown. We went there to escape the heat of our non air conditioned house. It has been close to 90 degrees Fahrenheit or 30+ Celsius for the last few days and most houses here don’t have air conditioning. It is usually only required for about 2 weeks give or take in the summer. So, we went to the mall to cool off, eat mall food and feel sorry for the puppies in the pet store.
I almost has an anxiety attack in the food court. Mark will say I have very sensitive hearing, but my ears were seriously ringing when we got home. The fountains, the people, AIGH! There are two food courts in the mall, the one we went to needs some serious renovations. Everything thing is kind of grungy. I realize I am becoming more germophobic as I age and soon I will be wearing Kleenex boxes on my feet like Howard Hughes, but eww. I wanted to autoclave Charlotte before she ate. The food court was full of parents yelling at their kids, prostitutes with their companions, mullets, Americans complaining about our one and two dollar coins! I needed to breathe into a paper bag. So I ate a teenburger instead. Who knows what she had touched? I managed to get a wet nap and wipe as well as I could, feeling sort of hysterical and crazy. This food court, the mall, is really a boil on the ass of our city. I suppose it brings in tourists who think that a bigger version of the same thing more or less they have in their city is awesome. There aren’t really any unique stores, just more. There is an indoor water park, a small amusement park, an ice arena, and a pirate ship thing in a little fake lake. I don’t mean this to be snobbish, but now that I am all old, married and germophobic it seems crass, and unseemly.
Let me also add that I am a huge hypocrite, I do like shopping. I mean I like “getting”, I do not enjoy browsing, I enjoy finding and buying. When we visit American cities I eat up the selection in the stores. I am a “plus sized/full figure/WOMAN sized” woman. I need around an 18 depending on which part of my equator the clothing for. I have large boobs okay? Is that what you wanted to know? The selection in the department stores in the States for plus size is 100 times better than here, and things go on sale sooner. I am very serious about my clothes. I perhaps do not need as many clothes or shoes as I have. Okay, I definitely do not need as much as I have. It is like a hobby and somewhat related to self esteem, but that is a story for another day.
I guess when a mall is smaller or packaged differently or in a classier place I can excuse the consumerism? I feel conflicted. I even googled “shopping for social change”, but there wasn’t much that I found. Maybe that is redundant as well. It is similar to how I feel that being a vegetarian is a very virtuous diet choice, but I eat meat. I assuage my fossil fuel guilt by driving a compact car, and we have only the one car. I would love a hybrid when we need a new one. I suppose I could say that going to the air conditioned mall balances out the fact that we will never have air conditioning? Right?
Signed,
Somewhat morally corrupt but conflicted.

I am sleeping in the basement again. My delicate Canadian constitution does not take well to the heat and it is hot here and we have no AC. I am sure you can read about this exact same situation every summer I have blogged. There are a few days here and there every summer that get so hot, I sleep on the cruel cruel futon. At least there is a tv down here, so I can watch some crap before I sleep. Isn’t that childhood prayer? “As I lay me down to sleep I pray to tv some crap to keep?”
Thanks for the thoughts on toilet training. More advice is welcome anytime. Even her preschool teachers say she just doesn’t want to. I could promise her the fucking Wonder Pets in her room every morning to save her from me making her put on closed, and she would say “not really”.
I have blogher on my mind, thinking about what to bring, etc. I feel much more relaxed about going this year. For one thing, my beloved Belinda will be there, and an ass load of awesome new people! I just need to pack a little earlier than I did when we went to Vegas. I forgot to bring 1) enough underwear for me, 2) one more pair of pants or a skirt, 3) my blood glucose monitor, 4) A PURSE! For the love of god, no purse. I did do the right thing and bought one ASAP. I am usually an awesome packer, but I got our flight time wrong (in my head) and though I had about another 2 hours to pack. I rule! I can’t believe I washed my underwear in the sink and had to hand it above the big jet tub. Gah. Bummer = my iPod is buggered. A trip with no Pod? I weep silently into my gold plated pillow, life is so hard. Do you have one thing you ALWAYS travel with? I have to pack insulin and shit, so my answer is no fun. I do HAVE to have at least one pair of comfortable shoes, even if they aren’t stylin’.
Tootaloo, going to watch the last bit of an Office rerun.