I know, I am lame. I have some funny and tragic details of my surgery to bore y’all with. So far, I have slept tons, “eaten” very little, and still thinking about the Christmas dinner ham. I left the house today and bought a lamp for the guest room with BioMom™, we also bought some other things, like socks and some chartreuse leather gloves for me because who the hell doesn’t need a pair of chartreuse leather gloves I ASK YOU?
I should have reminded you guys earlier, but tomorrow is my birthday. Feel free to pour some out for your homie (me) while drinking or eating tomorrow. I will be 38. “ALMOST FORTY” – my mom
Xiobhan has me coveting her new slide scanner, so if anyone feels like helping me celebrate my 38th with a nice gift, you can ask her where she got it. My dad has out entire childhood on slide film. We actually ooooh’d and ahhhhh’d on Christmas eve while looking at my first Communion slides.
I am going to eat my 1/2 cup of supper now.
p.s. i love you

I just would prefer in general to be horizontal. I am also coveting tonight’s ham. It looked beautiful. My 1/4 cup of cream soup didn’t look as tasty. Not complaining per say, just sayin’.
Very cold and tired all the time. Thanks for checking in. Christmas is nice.
g’night;

This is worse than my c-section, having my gall bladder removed and having chicken pox at 33. You should all be glad I forgot my camera batteries at home. As a lot of you know, it is the air they fill up your abdominal cavity with that causes an assload of pain. Also, “eating and “drinking” when your stomach is the size of a thumb can hurt if you are not careful. Good thing I am not hungry. Dinner tonight is 1/4 cup of apple sauce and 1/4 cup of milk. It sounds like too much to me.
Thanks for all the email and comments. It is getting me through. Also, my mom has been mostly awesome. The weather here is a bitch and they have not cleared the sidewalks and the cab drivers are(well last night) drunk.
Also easing the recovery was a lovely talk dark drink of water nurse man, who could help me up to pee when I was too weak. Total Jane Austen moment. There I am in my bloody and gigantic hospital gown and there he is with his lovely biceps and beautiful brown eyes… and then…. then …. i fart! YAY!
Oh, and my hair is purple. I need to get a better photo.
Also, also, I left everyone’s phone numbers at home. They are not on this laptop, so pretend you are loving me from long distance babey.
xoxo

it has been scary and scary and painful and they forgot to give me oxygen at one point, there was some confusion and fear. i am supposed to go back to the hotel tomorrow. I have had some chicken broth, some jello which didn’t go down so well and i have the swellest roommate. Stealing someone’s wifi, trying to download ELF to watch, since we have no TV!
I am supposed to be walking around, i am tired and sore and feeling sorry for myself.
I will be ok, but this has been brutal.
love you guys.

free wifi is here, luggage arrive at 2am, drugs i forgot procured, shower needed. today is the day. hte hotel bed is sooooo cozy. a million inches of snow outside.
loving you guys
xoxoxox

There is a bigass snow storm in my flight path, but I am hoping that the miracle of technology and sheer manpower and shoveling will get me there for surgery at 8am on tuesday.
Not nervous about anything else but GETTING there and leaving Mark with Charlotte. I will also miss Benoit (shhh don’t tell Cleo). It is awsome to have a warm kitty cuddle up to your ass cubes on a cold night.
Thanks to everyone who emailed and commented. I want to wake up and french kiss the internet.
Hoping for wifi at the hospital – too much? We do have it in the hotel.
Belinda from Ninjapoodles has all my “particulars”, if you need to know if your socks match or if you should take a nap (yes). I do have a phone in my room….
Loving you guys
KICKASS!

Light posting this week. Buried under pre-op appointments, psych appointments, festive preparations, haircut, snow, dentist appointment, cancellation (x3), angst, and sheer paralysis of deciding what all I have to do before I leave on Monday morning.
The change of plans is I am not having the lap-band, but I am having a gastric bypass. Ultimately, both my Internist here and the surgeon in Montreal agree that in terms of positive outcomes for diabetics, the bypass trumps the band over the longer term. I did research this all before I went for my initial consultation in Montreal, but I had made up my mind on the lap band. When the Surgeon suggested the bypass i nodded, but I really had my fingers in my ears saying LALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU in my head. This all comes down on Wednesday. Readers Digest version: freak out, discussion with surgeon, resolution. I feel confident about my decision and of course have spent lots more hours looking up studies to back me up, they are there, this is good. But FUCK. I cannot wait until I am resting in my hospital bed, or better yet back at home with Mark and Charlotte and the kitties.
See, all the resting afterwards that has me the most worried. I wanted everything wrapped, the house sanitized, spare room all ready for BioMom™, who comes on the 24th. So, knowing how much I want to do before I go, I have ended most days watching tv in fatigue and thinking a lot about what I should be doing, but not so much on the actual doing part.
There is also a heavy snowfall warning for Montreal for tomorrow. Sunday. I leave Monday at 8:20AM.
Right now I have a load of what is probably 4, that I should do, I am writing this post. I am also getting ready to make gift sacks, gift backs. Instead of wrapping or searching for boxes, a lot of presents will be in bags. I will photograph them for the crafty. They aren’t fancy, but functional. I did them last year too. I did also buy some gift bags at the DOLLARAMA, but figure this is a better alternative. We will see how many I get done. At least I don’t have all that pesky eating to distract me. I did order 12 meals from simply supper, a business who makes to order meals and you freeze them until you want them. I thought this would ease my not wanting to cook, and Mark’s wanting to eat. Also, totally reasonable cost-wise.
Hopefully more before I go, but if anyone wants to volunteer to be a phone buddy for me when I am scared shitless and anxious over the next two nights, let me know. jennifer@jennui.com I might need someone to talk me off the ledge. I am planning on bringing my laptop and cell phone (which I just learned how to text on! thanks Erin).
Ok, on now to sew.
xoxoxo
p.s. new hair

Things are looking good around here. All thanks to the most fabulous woman i know who’s ass i have touched, HelenJane!!!

I have homework to put something on my About page and Contact and other thingies, but dude, I love it so.

MamaPop and I go to the dogs for a brief visit. Go read!
Also, Heather Champ has a fascinating survey you should participate in. Anaconda. ha!
I have been replacing some of my barfshakes with similarly configured protein bars. Gagging has subsided somewhat. I realize I am still complaining and some have told me to suck it up since I ASKED for all of this, and I agree. Honestly though, this shit is heinous. I will send all doubters a packet.
xo

1) i think i have an bordering on unhealthy crush on Tiny Fey
leading into
2) I just got up from a way too long night time snooze. I had an excellent dream though. In my dream, as I was leaving my old job (at a University in the school of engineering), Tiny Fey is standing there! Of course. Offering me a job at Saturday Live as a writer (yes yesI realize she is no longer there), and the rest of the writers are just coming from some big meeting and Jon Stewart and Stephen were there (?) and they hive fived me. You know, since we were such great friends. I even did a little dance twirl with Stephen!
We eventually got “down to business”, where people were put into groups and supposed to improv sketched. I was in a improv where they were singing Wake Me up before you GO GO, by Wham. When it came to my part, I forgot the words! GUH! How is that possible?
Then I was put with all the other “fat girl” writers. WTF? We were all supposed to wear red. Every part of our clothing. I could tell Tina was doubting my talent. She was getting the look from someone else, looking at me, looking back at them and nodding. I wasn’t even working that hard, I was so smitten with being there. I kept following Stephen Colbert around, which started to annoy him.
Then Tina and I took her baby to the beach.
THE END!
3) the patient of the episode on Scrubs tonight is also playing flirty nurse with Mcreamy on Grey’s Anatomy.
4) still struggling with the shakes. I even skipped one today, I would rather not eat than “eat” one of those. eww.
Now, back to the TeeVee.