But lets make it so.
Watch the Oscars on Sunday night with all the broads, or most of us, from Mamapop. I hear rumours of naked pillow fights, mocking of some “fashion” and “hair-dos” and possibly some commentary on the “movies”. Not one of which I have seen. And dudes, Jon Stewart. About three inches taller and I would make him mine. (just kidding Mark, I love you baby!)
ONE OF US ONE OF US, Sunday night, 7pm EST! The forum will be here. There is a strip bar in town here called The Forum, and because I am a 12 year old boy I giggle every time I see the word forum. I can’t promise any stripper poles though, lord knows nobody wants that. From me.

I was dropping off Charlotte at preschool this morning. listening to the crabby radio listeners whining about Valentine’s Day. They are right! Valentine’s day is a commercial holiday created by THE MAN to get us to buy shit and tell US when to let those we love know that we love them. We also have to tell them with gifts, particularly gifts for women.
Lets take by this holiday. I have said it before. Celebrate love however you want to. USE this day the way you want. Today, we are going to my parent’s for a lovely roast chicken dinner. If that ain’t’ love, I don’t know what is. If my four year old can learn about love and friendship and have fun and make crafts and wear red and exchange cards and eat chocolate, well YAY! Perhaps some more love to go around. Mark may not be getting sex tonight, but he sure is getting his favourite chocolates. No expectations, but because Valentine’s day reminds me too. I guess I could just as easily do it next month.
I love my friends who I met through blogging, more than I can count, but I love you Belinda, and you Lisa, , and you Helen Jane, and Caitlin, and the ‘poo, and Eden, Kyran, Schmutzie, Rebecca, and JenLemen, and Michelle, Chairity, Ada, and so many many many other women I have met at BlogHer, or through comment threads, or twitter, or through other friends. Sometimes it does hurt to be in a community that is not as tangible on a daily basis as I would like. Miscommunication happens, things are taken out of context, emails are misread, but I value the friends I have made electronically immensely. The online experience, specifically making friends with funny, smart, witty women, has seriously changed my life for the better. Much better. Thanks to you my friends.
Last night I had my bestest friends noblogMichelle and noblogJanet over. We exchanged hugs and a few sweet treats. Honestly, celebrating with my girlfriends is my favourite thing about V-day. We laughed and drank tea and Charlotte ate Kinder eggs and Janet put together the toys for her. We celebrating our friendship without there being any romantic love involved. It was awesome.
This year, I gave my heart a couple of things for Valentine’s Day. One, is weight loss, I know my heart appreciates that it doesn’t have as much body mass to pump blood through. The other thing I am (trying) to give my heart is some gentleness and protectiveness. These are hard things for me. I DO take things “to heart” I LET myself be hurt that things that aren’t intentionally meant to hurt me. I also am definitely a heart on your sleeve wearer. It can be painful, it is difficult to change that about myself. I want to, I really do. I want to be all strong and kick ass be proud of who I am and who I love and who loves me. I want that for me, for my heart. For your heart.
I wish you Happy Valentine’s Day, with this vintage phallic themed card.

Growing up, we were a door almost shut while you sleep household. Until we were surly teens and then the door remained firmly closed. When the door was still in its ajar phase, my parents would look in on us to make sure we were asleep and I wasn’t reading. They would also turn on the hall light when doing the checking or the teeth brushing and other preparations before bedtime in our wee close quarters bungalow. I was always fake asleep, always awake. The hall light was like a Nazi interrogation light that tore me from my secret reading, or deep childhood thoughts. If I was even near sleep that light would jar me awake like a fire alarm. Why the huge light parentals? Why not just turn on you bedroom light, softer and less IN MY EYES. I would ask them to stop it as it disturbed my “sleep” and they would comply for a while only to go back to the flipping on of the equivalent of the SUN from the hallway.
Tonight, I was in the darkness of our marital bed, waiting for my Tylenol sinus to kick in and up comes Mark to update me on he and Charlotte’s coming and goings. FLIP, on goes the adult version of hallway day break. “Please turn that off when you go back downstairs”, I ask meekly, hopefully close to finishing the awful cold I have had. Toddler ass check, shirt change (it was “dirty”) and off they go, light still asking me questions about WHERE I WAS ON THE NIGHT IN QUESTION. I get up and turn it off with my memory and a giggle.

Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator!!!!!!11!!!
So so funny for me, who is drinking all these protein crap drinks. Link courtesy of husband, courtesy of some other nerd at his office.

LIKE HAVING SEX WITH A TRACTOR TRAILER!!

I went to the walk-in clinic tonight to get the rash covering almost my entire face and my tuberculosis cough check out. I indicated that I was pretty sure the rash was a reaction to a new cream I tried. He: well, first, stop using the cream that started the rash. Thank god you went to med school for that one. In other news, TB, not TB or infection just a virus that could kill a Rino. Codeine does help the cough suppression. I do hope I do not die of the Consumption.
Things I did (not do for the most part, I just thought about them) while I was waiting 2+ hours at the walk-in medi-clinic tonight.
Mock the text book the girl next to me was using “as a second language” “ORGANIC CHEMISTRY”. Shouldn’t it be Organic Chemistry, a second language workbook, or something? I kept imagining others in the series. “A second Language. French” Or “A second language. Learning a second language”. Perhaps this was funnier when hacking up a lung.
Makeover the half assed cowboy in the waiting room. You cannot wear a long leather jacket, a big ass belt buckle, A H and wing tipped lace up loafers. PONY UP MAN!
Give the lesbian in front of me a better haircut and change her galoshes to actual boots and shoes. He hair needed help too. In fact,I don’t know if she even was a lesbian, but girl needed some help.
Use my vulcan mind meld on middle aged or over ladies having that same short wavy cut with the same glasses.
Tell the woman with three small children to stop telling them to shush, we understand. Also wondering where your husband went to?
Observe that children and gross and dirty and snotty and loud and sticky and thank you Jebus that Charlotte usually gets a pass on excursions such as this and grocery shopping. Three and four year old ARE NUTS! That one kid clearly picked his nose and spread it on the medi-clinic sign which was previously been .a shiny glass monument.
Use hand sanitizer on the entire examining table not just the part with the paper covering it. Who’s ass has been on THERE?
Listened through a thin examination room wall a fer real bend over and couch exam, including how there would be some be and “bladder control is not usually a problem with men your age”. I also totally knew which guy it was.
Wonder if you are a dude, stylish, unmarried, well groomed and smell nice and you read all the home and garden magazines, does that make you gay or metrosexual? I am so out of the loop
Ultimately 2 hours later, no drugs, but a suggestion to go get some Tylenol with codeine at the druggist. Hmpf. Oh and after I discontinue using the cream that gave me a rash 2 days ago, take some Benedryl.
I figure I must be a little immune-suppressed STILL from my surgery. I get sick every week or so. It is ANNOYING
You aren’t though.

Wait, I just summed up most of my day in my title. I forgot to tell you guys that I was nominated for a bloggie for Best Canadian Blog. Partially because I really believe I am not the best, and partially because I wasn’t paying enough attention to when you could stop voting. I am hoping Schmutzie will get it, she is amazing and talented and I believe the best! So there!
I know that some of you want to know how MANY pounds I have lost. I have said before that I am afraid to weigh myself too often lest I get into obsession territory. I am losing, slowly, I can tell that my pants are bigger. I am still on mostly softerish foods. My transition to solider foods has been mixed. There has been some hurling and some painful tummy, but I am dialing it back and trying to chew chew chew. I wish I could eat oatmeal everyday.
I have worked out a few times and my stamina is increasing pretty quickly. Tomorrow I am going to see a Physiotherapist to see about my poor knee, which is still bothering me. I wont get into to see an Orthopedic surgeon for about 8-9 months. I need some exercises to strengthen the area around my patella (knee cap) and I guess just put up with the osteoarthritis, since Tyelenol was the treatment my doctor gave me. Hopefully losing weight will help the pain.
Man, the title of this post should be I am fat and decrepit and ooooold and my knees hurt and HEY YOU KIDS GET OUT OF MY YARD!!!
I have booked my little jaunt to San Francisco from February 28 to March 2. I will be visiting friends, most of the time with Helen Jane, and hopefully some other dear ones. Just seeing a tree or a blade of grass or a flower will really lift the old WINTER IS LONG AND COLD AND LASTS FOREVER mood. You know, that I may or may or not suffer from. -23 Fahrenheit this week, some days even colder. Oppressive, crazy(er) making.
and yeah, I bought tons of groceries today and I have 2 wee cavities!