Some kind soul nominated for the Divine Caroline blog award for parenting. My child won’t shit in the toilet, but I guess I am still a parent. Mark gives her almost all her baths and puts her to bed almost every night so I can eat my bon bons and watch my stories. I did gestate her, and she lives with us and stuff, so yeah, I am a parent. I also have two cats, so I guess that makes me a kick ass blogger and a parent. Although I don’t knit, which I think is my major weakness in this category.
I am not really asking you to vote for me, whomever is #1 is kicking some serious ass, and there are lots of far far better parenting blogs nominated than this trifle and blogal. It is, as they say, an honour just to be nominated, so thanks lovely person! Also thank you to the three people who have voted for me!
My in-laws arrive tomorrow night. And my mother-in-law’s mum just died, they were about 2 weeks from going to visit. I only met her once, but as I twittered, she wore a green sequined jumpsuit to our wedding and we did the bump (a dance move for those born in the 80s). She gave birth to my mother-in-law during WW2 while her husband was away in the war and lived an interesting life. I hope to find out more about her during out visit. Honestly, I would like to NOT talk about 1 )politics, 2) religion, 3) things we “should” do to the house, 4) how Charlotte isn’t reading yet and what is WRONG with us?? 5) IKEA, 6) how mango goes great in a curry, 7) anything negative about my sister-in-law, the gays. I am sure this is an incomplete list, but I want to avoid conflict right now more than I want chocolate cake everyday for breakfast.
Any steering directions? How do you avoid hot topics (JUST like on the view) you don’t want to talk about? I can only hide in our bathroom for so long and I no longer have a door on my lofty office “nook”, which makes it harder to pretend I am “working part-time writing for online publications”.

My whole kitchen colour scheme was all buggered by the new house. In a totally good way. I know it isn’t like needed a new kidney or anything, but I had a helluva time finding non-stainless steel, non cream or white coloured canister sets. These are from replacements.com, where I also bought the last few pieces of my discontinued Denby dishes. They are Fiesta Ware! Aiieeeee! Aieeee! Aieeee! Aribba! ahem. They seals all seal properly and they were a steal, price wise. I am tempting to replace every dish I have with the orange coloured fiesta ware, but I think Mark might disagree a little.

I bought a new sisal rug to match the kitchen yesterday, but the cat who WILL NOT use a scratching post has decided that a scratching rug is AWESOME.
Oh, my in-laws are coming Monday until the following Monday, I am trying to make the house looked lived in, and not just slept in. We are getting there…. too much stuff. The Goodwill is getting quite a haul from this move. Tomorrow my dad is coming over to hand new towel bars. Friday night partay!

It doesn’t quite rhyme, but close! Here is me, trying to take a photo of what I am wearing for the working closet pool, even though I don’t work. Realizing I cannot get a full body photo standing on the side of the tub. It starts to sink in we NEED to hang up that full length mirror. Gibbled knee+edge of tub = Darwin award winner. My cat watches with disdain, she would so NEVER do this.

verdict = not attractive

cute hat no? please say yes.

NOT smiling with my eyes or any other part, and too dark without some serious dodging. I give up.

humans. humpf. give me food.
I blog therefore I post photos of my cat. Deal.

My knee hurts like a mofo the days I have physiotherapy. I got a fancy new ice pack and some sort of bionic brace that I will photo for you eventually. I bought one, but it is too big, must exchange. Not much to say today. Mihow commenting the other day, on twitter that she doesn’t think her skin is think enough to be on the internets. Dogs knows I have mentioned the same thing before. I need to toughen up. No idea how though.
My med changes seem a bit better, less unpredictablity, less HAPPY, then suddenly sobbing in the car. I am still struggling, but sorta’ hopeful?
Watching Jon Stewart, who is like an antidepressant to me, no matter what news he covers. Colbert too. They make me laugh. Laughter isn’t the best medicine, but it does help. Right now, I am trying to get by, I think that is pretty damned good right now.
I find Bill Clinton kinda’ hot. Is that so wrong?
OH! Sweet mother of god, Charlotte is watching Sponge Bob Square pants, less Curious George and other painfully repetitive other kids crap. That is certainly warming my cockles. tee hee cockles.
Also making me happy. Susan Wagner’s post about happy.
Carnations are also making me happy. They last a long-ass time and they are cheap. I used to think of them as cheap filler flowers, but if they put in a vase in a tight bunch, they look lovely. I am sure I saw that via Martha Stewart. $7 has lasted me two weeks and two vases like this one.

Recently disconcerting, the number of dreams about Jason Priestly, who has never appealed to me. Why, help me?

Winner announced for a new backpack! on Tonic - my alterno-blog page. GO CHECK! it could be you!
Jen

It is now stupid fall. I cannot enjoy it because it is like everyday is one step closer to winter. Cue ominous music. Sure, my allergies bother me too and they get better when the unbearable unlightness begins. No special lamp or drug amount of fabulous fall clothes (new hat yesterday! wee) can take away the reminders. Every leaf blowing down the side walk says WINTER to me, not fall. My flowers are yellowing, damaged from the changing weather and cooler temperatures. WINTER. Pretty sweaters and boots and hats and corduroy = WINTER. Winter is long, winter is dark, winter is long, winter is sad. The sledding and skiing and snowball fights don’t make me anticipatory for the run, they make me cry for the thought of long underwear, and snotty wool scarves from drippy noses and slipping on ice. Shovelling, snow plows, blizzards, icicles, I can finally admit, my name is JenB and I hate winter. It is long, it is unpredictable, overnight it can go from getting in the car and dropping Charlotte off at preschool to waking up with a big stupid pristine white blanket covering every fucking thing and getting anywhere is a clusterfuck. A white Christmas, I am down with. Nearly six months of this? It makes it hard to defend the city, the country, this place, that I love so much.
FALL

It is taking me forever to do the fancy in the no-longer-new house. We moved into the place in May. This was done on the wall of my lovely laundry room so I can admire it while I iron and lovingly count my shoes (to the right of the flowers is my shoe closet)

I like these flowers, you can get them here. They stay on the wall using magnets (on the flowers) and regular ol’ thumbtacks. These are made my UMBRA, a Canadian company!

Since today is Talk Like a Pirate Day, I helped AlphaMom pirate up the place. Go read lots of new columns and check out some fancy trinkets!
AVAST YE’ SCURVY DOGS CATS!!

Preschooler to crappy photog.

She will get better, but check out these photos by Sesame Ellis’ kid.

First, I have to share this YouTube video sent to me by my friend NoBlog-Michelle. I bought their album off iTunes, and people, it is a band made up entirely of Ukuleles.

Second, err, hadn’t really thought of a second thing yet. OH! guess what I did Saturday night? I watched the Assassination of Jesse James. Ehh, I liked it ok. I also watched Saturday night Live. We all know Tiny Fey was awesome. While watching tv, occasionally twittering something stupid, I ironed all my cloth napkins and linen tea towels. Mark was out playing poker. Am I awesome or just OCD?

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Did I mention I dislocated my kneecap last week? Lemme check my last post. Nope, did not. I dislocated it playing basketball in junior high, at about 13, then another year later, playing 3rd base in softball, then the same year, i slipped on an egg in Home Ec. Yes, that last one is not to glamorous and neither is how I did is last week, which was putting away groceries. My foot stayed planted facing the kitchen island, my body turned towards the fridge to put away milk, NOT EVEN BEER, and I felt the shot of pain. I wasn’t really sure I had dislocated it, because in the past it just whips in and out. I waited a few days, iced it, moaned and winged, then finally went to my doctor. Yes, dislocated, blah blah blah, referral to a sports medicine doctor, less pissing around about surgery like I did in April.
My biggest fear is not the surgery, the pain, the recovery, the inconvenience, it is that I will gain weight. The knee is sort of crucial when doing vigorous enough exercise to lose weight. I had weight loss surgery, I am struggling like hell to eat properly and keep up my activity. OK, I do fear the inconvenience, the abject terror of fucking up my surgery and sup bar progress thus far because I will be on crutches for 4-6 weeks. Yes, yes, some of you are going to recommend swimming or some sort of aqua-related exercise. I dearly hope that is an option as soon as possible after surgery and yes, right now I believe I can, but. Doing something in a pool, in water, requires me to be in a bathing suit in front of other people. This isn’t sarcasm, this is fear. In my mind I know it is unlikely the blue hair elderly or other gimpy knee people doing aqua-stuff care about my sagging skin (benefit of losing weight fast, possibly even more unsightly as before. It isn’t that I worry so much about what other people think, it is the irrational DO NOT WANT to show that much of my body to anyone. I am not even sure they make a swim top to prevent my boobs from hurtling myself or another participant in the face. I will look, landsend perhaps.
Also, cannot take anti-inflammatory medication BECAUSE of the weight loss surgery. Tried one, made me sick. Ice and extra-strength Tylenol is it. To be fair, that seems to be working. I also went to see my trainer today so I can work my upper body and let my legs atrophy into stumps of goo. I will eventually need a full body lift. Even my toes might need botox.
I guess I didn’t mention this last week because, dislocated knee cap? Big freakin’ deal when people are having to flee their homes because of hurricanes and storms and power outages and seriously big deals in life. Perspective is a bitch. I am still scared of the swimsuit, oh AND the fat.